"America, Where Are You Now...."- Stepphenwolf's The Monster-Take Two

A YouTube Film Clip Of Stepphenwolf Performing Monster. Ah, Those Were The Days

Commentary/CD REVIEW

Steppenwolf: 16 Greatest Hits, Steppenwolf, Digital Sound, 1990

America where are you now?

Don't you care about your sons and daughters?

Don't you know we need you now

We can't fight alone against the monster

The heavy rock band Steppenwolf, one of many that was thrown up by the musical counter-culture of the mid to late 1960's was a cut above and apart from some of the others due to their scorching lyrics provided mainly, but not solely, by gravelly-voiced lead singer John Kay. Some bands played, consciously played, to the “drop out” notion of times, drop out of rat-race bourgeois society and it money imperative, its white picket fence with little e white house visions (from when many of the young, the post-World War II baby-boomer young, now sadly older), drop out and create a niche somewhere, some physical somewhere perhaps but certainly some other mental somewhere and the music reflected that disenchantment, Much of which was ephemeral, merely background music, and has not survived (except in lonely YouTube cyberspace). Others, flash pan “music is the revolution,” period exclamation point, end of conversation bands assumed a few pithy lyrics would carry the day and dirty old bourgeois society would run and hide in horror leaving the field open, open for, uh, us. That music too, except for gens like The Ballad Of Easy Rider, is safely ensconced in vast cyberspace.

Steppenwolf was different. Not all the lyrics worked, then or now. Not all the words are now some forty plus years later memorable. After all every song is written with current audience in mind, and notions of immortality for most songs are displaced. Certainly some of the less political lyrics seem entirely forgettable. As does some of the heavy decibel rock sound that seems to wander at times like, as was the case more often than not, and more often that we, deep in some a then hermetic drug thrall, would have acknowledged, or worried about. But know this- when you think today about trying to escape from the rat race of daily living then you have an enduring anthem Born To Be Wildthat still stirs the young (and not so young). If Bob Dylan's Like A Rolling Stone was one musical pillar of the youth revolt of the 1960's then Born To Be Wild was the other.

And if you needed (or need) a quick history lesson about the nature of American society in the 1960's, what it was doing to its young, where it had been and where it was heading (and seemingly still is as we finish up the Afghan wars and the war signals for intervention into Syria and Iran, or both are beating the war drums fiercely) then the trilogy under the title "The Monster" (the chorus which I have posted above and lyrics below) said it all.

Then there were songs like The Pusher Man a song that could be usefully used as an argument in favor of decriminalization of drugs today and get our people the hell out of jail and moving on with their lives and other then more topical songs like Draft Resister to fill out the album. The group did not have the staying power of others like The Rolling Stones but if you want to know, approximately, what it was like for rock groups to seriously put rock and roll and a hard political edge together give a listen.

Words and music by John Kay, Jerry Edmonton, Nick St. Nicholas and Larry Byrom

(Monster)

Once the religious, the hunted and weary

Chasing the promise of freedom and hope

Came to this country to build a new vision

Far from the reaches of kingdom and pope

Like good Christians, some would burn the witches

Later some got slaves to gather riches

But still from near and far to seek America

They came by thousands to court the wild

And she just patiently smiled and bore a child

To be their spirit and guiding light

And once the ties with the crown had been broken

Westward in saddle and wagon it went
And 'til the railroad linked ocean to ocean

Many the lives which had come to an end

While we bullied, stole and bought our a homeland

We began the slaughter of the red man

But still from near and far to seek America

They came by thousands to court the wild

And she just patiently smiled and bore a child

To be their spirit and guiding light

The blue and grey they stomped it

They kicked it just like a dog

And when the war over

They stuffed it just like a hog

And though the past has it's share of injustice

Kind was the spirit in many a way

But it's protectors and friends have been sleeping

Now it's a monster and will not obey

(Suicide)

The spirit was freedom and justice

And it's keepers seem generous and kind

It's leaders were supposed to serve the country

But now they won't pay it no mind

'Cause the people grew fat and got lazy

And now their vote is a meaningless joke

They babble about law and order

But it's all just an echo of what they've been told

Yeah, there's a monster on the loose

It's got our heads into a noose

And it just sits there watchin'

Our cities have turned into jungles

And corruption is stranglin' the land

The police force is watching the people

And the people just can't understand

We don't know how to mind our own business

'Cause the whole worlds got to be just like us

Now we are fighting a war over there

No matter who's the winner

We can't pay the cost

'Cause there's a monster on the loose

It's got our heads into a noose

And it just sits there watching

(America)

America where are you now?

Don't you care about your sons and daughters?

Don't you know we need you now

We can't fight alone against the monster

© Copyright MCA Music (BMI)
All rights for the USA controlled and administered by
MCA Corporation of America, INC

--Used with permission--

Born To Be Wild

Words and music by Mars Bonfire

Get your motor runnin'

Head out on the highway

Lookin' for adventure

And whatever comes our way

Yeah Darlin' go make it happen

Take the world in a love embrace

Fire all of your guns at once

And explode into space

I like smoke and lightning

Heavy metal thunder

Racin' with the wind

And the feelin' that I'm under

Yeah Darlin' go make it happen

Take the world in a love embrace

Fire all of your guns at once

And explode into space

Like a true nature's child

We were born, born to be wild

We can climb so high

I never wanna die

Born to be wild
Born to be wild

© MCA Music (BMI)
All rights for the USA controlled and administered by
MCA Corporation of America, INC

--Used with permission--

THE PUSHER

From the 1968 release "Steppenwolf"

Words and music by Hoyt Axton

You know I've smoked a lot of grass

O' Lord, I've popped a lot of pills

But I never touched nothin'

That my spirit could kill

You know, I've seen a lot of people walkin' 'round

With tombstones in their eyes

But the pusher don't care

Ah, if you live or if you die

God damn, The Pusher

God damn, I say The Pusher

I said God damn, God damn The Pusher man

You know the dealer, the dealer is a man

With the love grass in his hand

Oh but the pusher is a monster

Good God, he's not a natural man

The dealer for a nickel

Lord, will sell you lots of sweet dreams

Ah, but the pusher ruin your body

Lord, he'll leave your, he'll leave your mind to scream

God damn, The Pusher

God damn, God damn the Pusher

I said God damn, God, God damn The Pusher man

Well, now if I were the president of this land

You know, I'd declare total war on The Pusher man

I'd cut him if he stands, and I'd shoot him if he'd run

Yes I'd kill him with my Bible and my razor and my gun

God damn The Pusher

Gad damn The Pusher

I said God damn, God damn The Pusher man\

© Irving Music Inc. (BMI)

--Used with permission--

“Workers of The World Unite, You Have Nothing To Lose But Your Chains”-The Struggle For Trotsky's Fourth (Communist) International

Emblem of the Fourth International.

Click below to link to documents of the early 4th International.

http://www.marxists.org/history/etol/document/fi/

Markin comment:

Below this general introduction is another addition to the work of creating a new international working class organization-a revolutionary one fit of the slogan in the headline.

Markin comment (repost from September 2010):

Recently, when the question of an international, a new workers' international, a fifth international, was broached by the International Marxist Tendency (IMT), faintly echoing the call by Venezuelan caudillo, Hugo Chavez, I got to thinking a little bit more on the subject. Moreover, it must be something in the air (maybe caused by these global climatic changes) because I have also seen recent commentary on the need to go back to something that looks very much like Karl Marx’s one-size-fits-all First International. Of course, just what the doctor ordered, by all means, be my guest, BUT only if the shades of Proudhon and Bakunin can join. Boys and girls that First International was disbanded in the wake of the demise of the Paris Commune for a reason, okay. Mixing political banners (Marxism and fifty-seven varieties of anarchism) is appropriate to a united front, not a hell-bent revolutionary International fighting, and fighting hard, for our communist future. Forward

The Second International, for those six, no seven, people who might care, is still alive and well (at least for periodic international conferences) as a mail-drop for homeless social democrats who want to maintain a fig leaf of internationalism without having to do much about it. Needless to say, one Joseph Stalin and his cohorts liquidated the Communist (Third) International in 1943, long after it turned from a revolutionary headquarters into an outpost of Soviet foreign policy. By then no revolutionary missed its demise, nor shed a tear goodbye. And of course there are always a million commentaries by groups, cults, leagues, tendencies, etc. claiming to stand in the tradition (although, rarely, the program) of the Leon Trotsky-inspired Fourth International that, logically and programmatically, is the starting point of any discussion of the modern struggle for a new communist international.

With that caveat in mind this month, the September American Labor Day month, but more importantly the month in 1938 that the ill-fated Fourth International was founded I am posting some documents around the history of that formation, and its program, the program known by the shorthand, Transitional Program. If you want to call for a fifth, sixth, seventh, what have you, revolutionary international, and you are serious about it beyond the "mail-drop" potential, then you have to look seriously into that organization's origins, and the world-class Bolshevik revolutionary who inspired it. Forward.

****

 

***Of This And That In The Old North Adamsville Neighborhood-In Search Of…..A Running Guy 

 

 

From The Pen Of Frank Jackman

For those who have been following this series about the old days in my old home town of North Adamsville, particularly the high school day as the 50^th anniversary of my graduation creeps up, you will notice that recently I have been doing sketches based on my reaction to various e-mails sent by fellow classmates via the class website. So I have taken on the tough tasks of sending kisses to raging grandmothers, talking up old flames with guys I used to hang around the corners with, remembering those long ago searches for the heart of Saturday night, getting wistful about elementary school daydreams, taking up the cudgels for be-bop lost boys and the like. That is no accident as I have of late been avidly perusing the personal profiles of various members of the North Adamsville Class of 1964 website as fellow classmates have come on to the site and lost their shyness about telling their life stories (or have increased their computer technology capacities, not an unimportant consideration for the generation of ’68, a generation on the cusp of the computer revolution and so not necessarily as savvy as the average eight-year old today).

Of course not everybody who graduated with me in that baby-boomer times class of over five hundred students had a literary flare or could articulate their dreams in the most coherent way. But they had dreams, and they have today when we have all been through about seven thousand of life’s battles, good and bad, a vehicle to express whatever they want. As I have mentioned before in other sketches I have spent not a little time lately touting the virtues of the Internet in allowing me and the members of the North Adamsville Class of 1964, or what is left of it, the remnant that has survived and is findable with the new technologies to communicate with each other some fifty years and many miles later on a class website recently set up to gather in classmates for our 50^th anniversary reunion.  (Some will never be found by choice or by being excluded from the “information super-highway” that they have not been able to navigate.) Interestingly those who have joined the site have, more or less, felt free to send me private e-mails telling me stories about what happened back in the day in school or what has happened to them since their jailbreak from the confines of the old town.

Some stuff is interesting to a point, you know, including those endless tales about the doings and not doings of the grandchildren mentioned above, odd hobbies and other ventures taken up in retirement and so on although not worthy of me making a little off-hand commentary on. Some stuff is either too sensitive or too risqué to publish on a family-friendly site. Some stuff, some stuff about the old days and what did, or did not, happened to, or between, fellow classmates, you know the boy-girl thing (other now acceptable relationships were below the radar then) has naturally perked my interest. Other stuff as here defies simple classification such as this unsolicited contribution on my part to a neglected track man from my era (okay, okay friend too).

 

On The Loneliness Of The Long Distance Runner -For The Great Runner Of Our Class of 1964, Bill Cadger

 

From The Pen Of Frank Jackman

 

This sketch started life a few years ago as a question about why my schoolboy friend the great cross-country runner and trackman, Bill Cadger, had not been inducted into the North Adamsville Sports Hall of Fame. Well that question was summarily answered for me in passing-except for football there is not such organization. Nevertheless, if for no other reason than to get Mr. Cadger to come out of his lair over in Newton and join this site, the following appreciation of his skills stands the test of time.   

 

Funny how things come back to haunt you, although maybe haunt is not just the right word but will do for now. I, probably like you, was over the top in high school about the school teams, especially football. On any given autumn Saturday the big weekday issues were like tissue in the wind when the question of third down and six, pass or run, held the world on its axis. Many a granite grey, frost-tinged, leaves-changing afternoon I spent (or maybe misspent) yelling myself hoarse cheering on our gridiron goliaths, the North Adamsville Red Raiders, to another victory. Cheering for guys I knew, some of whom I knew personally.

Those guys, those brawny guys, who held our humbles fates, our spiritual fates in their hands if you must know because many of us took the occasional defeats just slightly less hard than the team, deserved plenty of attention and applause, no question. Today though I don’t want to speak of them, but of those kindred in the lesser sports, specifically my own high school sports, cross country, winter track and spring track. Running, running in shorts, in all seasons to be exact. I will mention my own checkered career only in passing. You need not hold your breath waiting for thundering- hoofed grand exploits, or Greek mythical olive branch glory on my account.

What you should give your attention to is my aim below to give, or rather to get, some long overdue recognition for the outstanding runner of our high school days, Bill Cadger. Arguably the best all-around trackman of the era, the era of the “geek” runner, the runner scorned and abused by motorist and pedestrian alike, before the avalanche of honors fell to any half-baked runner when “running for your life” later had some cache. Christ, even the guys on the just so-so tennis team got more school recognition, and more importantly, girl recognition, the boffo, beehive-haired, Capri-pants-wearing, cashmere sweater-wearing, tight sweater-wearing girls and even I went over to the courts on Billings Road when the team had competitions to check out the, uh, volleys and serves.

Needless to say no such fanfare tarnished our lonely pursuits, our lonely, desolate pursuits, running out in all weathers. Even the female track scorer was nothing but the girlfriend of one of the shot-putters, and she served only because no other girl would do it, and she loved her shot-putter. Here is how bad it was- a true story I swear. I spent considerable time talking up one female fellow classmate whom I noticed was looking my way one day. That went on for a while and we got friendly. One day she asked me if I played any sports and so I used that opening to pad up my various meager exploits figuring that would impress her. Her response- “Oh, do they have a track team here?”

Yes sad indeed, but so that such an injustice will not fall on Bill Cadger’s eternal exploits I, a few years back, determined to pursue a campaign to get him recognition in the North Adamsville Sports Hall of Fame. To that end I wrote up the following simple plea for justice, the superbly- reasoned argument for Mr. Cadger’s inclusion in the Hall of Fame:

Why is the great 1960s cross country and track runner, Bill Cadger, not in the North Adamsville Sports Hall Of Fame?

“Okay, okay I am a “homer” (or to be more contemporary, a “homeboy”) on this question. In the interest of full disclosure the fleet-footed Mr. Cadger and I have known each other since the mist of time. We go all the way back to being schoolmates down at Snug Harbor Elementary School in one of the old town’s housing projects, the notorious Adamsville “projects” that devoured many a boy, including my two brothers and almost, within an inch, got me. Bill and I survived that experience and lived to tell the tale. What I want to discuss today though is the fact that this road warrior's accomplishments, as a cross-country runner and trackman (both indoors and out), have never been truly recognized by the North Adamsville High School sports community. (See below for a youthful photograph of the “splendid speedster” in full racing regalia.).

And what were those accomplishments? Starting as a wiry, but determined, sophomore Bill began to make his mark as a harrier beating seniors, top men from other teams on occasion, and other mere mortals. Junior year he began to stake out his claim on the path to Olympus by winning road races on a regular basis. In his senior year Bill broke many cross-country course records, including a very fast time on the storied North Adamsville course. A time, by the way, that held up as the course record for many years afterward. Moreover, in winter track that senior year Bill was the State Class B 1000-yard champion, pulling out a heart-stopping victory. His anchor of the decisive relay in a dual meet against Somerville's highly-touted state sprint champion is the stuff of legends.

Bill also qualified to run with the “big boys” at the fabled schoolboy National Indoor Championships at Madison Square Garden in New York City. His outdoor track seasons speak for themselves. I will not detain you here with the grandeur of his efforts for I would be merely repetitive. Needless to say he was captain of all three teams in his senior year. No one questioned the aptness of those decisions.

Bill and I have just recently re-united [2008], the details which need not detain us here, after some thirty years. After finding him, one of the first things that I commented on during one of our “bull sessions” was that he was really about ten years before his time. In the 1960s runners were “geeks.” You know-the guys, and then it was mainly guys, who ran in shorts on the roads and mainly got honked at, yelled at, and threatened with mayhem by irate motorists. And the pedestrians were worse, throwing an occasional body- block at runners coming down the sidewalk outside of school. That was the girls, those “fragile” girls of blessed memory. The boys shouted out catcalls, whistles, and trash talk about maleness, male unworthiness, and their standards for it that did not include what we were doing. Admit it. That is what you thought, and maybe acted on then too.

In the 1970's and 1980's runners of both sexes became living gods and goddesses to a significant segment of the population. Money, school scholarships, endorsements, soft-touch “self-help” clinics, you name it. Then you were more than willing to “share the road with a runner.” Friendly waves, crazed schoolgirl-like hanging around locker rooms for the autograph of some 10,000 meter champion whose name you couldn’t pronounce, crazed school boy-like droolings when some foxy woman runner with a tee-shirt that said “if you can catch me, you can have me” passed you by on the fly, and shrieking automobile stops to let, who knows, maybe the next Olympic champion, do his or her stuff on the road. Admit that too.

And as the religion spread you, suddenly hitting thirty-something, went crazy for fitness stuff, especially after Bobby, Sue, Millie, and some friend’s grandmother hit the sidewalks looking trim and fit. And that friend’s grandma beating you, beating you badly, that first time out only added fuel to the fire. And even if you didn’t get out on the roads yourself you loaded up with your spiffy designer jogging attire, one for each day of the week, and high-tech footwear. Jesus, what new aerodynamically-styled, what guaranteed to take thirteen seconds off your average mile time, what color- coordinated, well- padded sneaker you wouldn’t try, and relegate to the back closet. But it was better if you ran. And you did for a while. I saw you, and Bill did too. You ran Adamsville Beach, Castle Island, the Charles River, Falmouth, LaJolla, and Golden Gate Park. Wherever. Until the old knees gave out, or the hips, or some such combination “war story” stuff. But see, by then, Bill had missed his time.

Now there is no question that a legendary football player like Bill Curran from our class should be in the North Adamsville Sports Hall of Fame. On many a granite gray autumn afternoon old "Bull Winkle" thrilled us with his gridiron prowess running over opponents at will. But on other days, as the sun went down highlighting the brightly-colored falling leaves, did you see that skinny kid running down East Squantum Street toward Adamsville Beach for another five mile jaunt? No, I did not think so. I have now, frankly, run out of my store of sports spiel in making my case. Know this though; friendship aside, Bill belongs in the Hall. What about making a place in the Hall for the kid with the silky stride who worked his heart out, rain or shine, not only for his own glory but North's.

***The Roots Is The Toots-The Music That Got The Generation Of ’68 Through The 1950s Red Scare Cold War Night-Elvis’s Are You Lonesome Tonight

 

…he wondered, truly wondered whether she missed him, missed her walking daddy tonight after all the slow meaningless time that had passed these past few months since their over-heated short love affair had gone down in flames almost as quickly as it had started.  (That walking daddy moniker was a little term of endearment that she tagged him with after they had, well, done the “do the do” and she though that she had him reined in, reined him in with kisses and a few little special things that he liked, and that she knew he liked even before he told her that he did). He did not really believe that she did, did miss him, she was not built that way, and he knew from the first, and she made the fact abundantly clear and with examples (citing chapter and verse ex-husbands and lovers) in all their conversations that once she was done with a man that was that and she moved on, maybe to the next man, maybe just to lick her wounds. Still he took a ticket, took a chance that he would be, what did she call him, oh yeah, her “forever” man (and a few short months later her “never” man).  Yeah, so no question he was as sure as a man could be, a man who no longer was on speaking terms with her, that she did not miss him.

 

He wondered too whether she was lonesome tonight for her walking daddy, a very different proposition than whether she missed him. He was not sure on that score, although he thought she might. See even if she was through with a man, had moved on the way she put the fact in those same conversations mentioned above they had about her way with men, she was as likely to be licking her wounds as looking for another man. As likely to be filled with solitary sadness as out on the town, out with another man. That is where those two marriages and many love affairs came in, came in and softened rather than hardened her to life’s romantic ups and downs. She mentioned that she had a hard time letting go, letting the past fade and that it took her a long time to get over a man once they were through. How did she put it one night, oh yeah, she was fast to love a man when he got under her skin and slow to forget him (that fast love had been her way with him in their whirlwind love affair not giving him time to breathe before trying to plan their future unto infinity after about a month). Yeah, she might be lonesome tonight but let me tell you what he told me one night when we were sipping white wines at a Boston bar, tell you some details and you figure the damn thing out.      

 

He had met her sitting in a bar in Cambridge, a rock and roll bar, an oldies but goodies bar that he frequented when he needed to hear Elvis, Chuck, Bo, or some rockabilly beat after some hard case was done or he just needed to blow off steam when some appeals case was slipping away for lack of presentable issues that could win. Some nights, like this night, he wound up just slugging quarters in the juke-box, others, mainly weekend nights listening to a live band, The Rockin’ Ramrods,  covering the classics, when he noticed that she looked very familiar in a long ago way. After he slid down the row of barstools to get beside her he had mentioned that fact to her as a come-on and bought her a drink (a glass of red wine which she loved, loved to perdition as he would find out) they spent the next several minutes trying to figure where that might have been. Work, no, the Cape, no, College, no, and so on. 

 

Strangely they found out once they discussed where they had grown up that the link had been  that they had gone to the same high school together, North Adamsville High, located on the South Shore of Boston although they had not known each other, had not had any of the same classes, back then (but since they had also gone to the same junior high school they agreed later after they were “smitten” with each other, her term, and wanted to make some symbolic “written in the wind” closeness count they must have been in the same space at some point if only the gym, auditorium or cafeteria). That got them cutting up old torches that night for a while, well, a long while since they closed the bar that night. They agreed that they had some common interests and that they should continue the conversation further via e-mail and cellphone. See, she lived up in New Hampshire in a town outside of Manchester, was a professor at the state university and had been in Cambridge to attend a conference at Harvard so getting together soon in person with her schedule was problematic.

 

So for a while, a few weeks, they carried on an e-mail/cellphone correspondence. Both were however struck by the number of things they had in common, things from childhood like growing up poor, growing up in hostile and dangerous family environments, growing up insecure and with nothing to guide them. Moreover they found that they had many similar teenage angst and alienation episodes in high school in common as well as current political and academic interests. Both agreed that they should meet again in person since they had already “met” in high school (somehow in the rush of things they discounted that they had really met in Cambridge in a bar, go figure).

 

And so they met again, met many times, had many dinners and did other things together before they agreed to meet at a hotel in New Hampshire to see if they had a spark that way. Well you know they did since otherwise there would be no story to tell. Yes, they, he and she, were both smitten, both felt very comfortable with each other and were heading forward with eyes open. Along the way they had discussed their two each marriages, their serious love affairs and their attitudes toward relationships. At those times she would emphasize her take on men, her expectations and her limitations. She also wanted him to come stay with her in New Hampshire and leave Boston. He although not as well formed in his take on their relationship did likewise explain his two marriages and major love affairs, although he balked at leaving the city for the Podunk country up north as he called her place. So yes both sets of eyes were open, open wide.

 

She pulled the hammer down, pulled it down early. Within a couple of months she spoke of love, of living together, of sailing out into the sunset together. He, slower on the uptake, slower having been severely burned in his last marriage was a bit bewildered by her speedy emotional attachment to him. They went on a couple of trips together, had some good times, had some rocky times too when she tried to rein him in. He wasn’t afraid to commit exactly (well maybe he had a little “cold feet” problem but not bad for him) as much as he wanted the thing to develop naturally, give him time to breathe although he already said that air to breathe thing didn’t he, there always seemed to be an air of suffocation every time she got on her high horse, got her wanting habits on, got the best of him sometimes.

 

Then he made his fatal mistake, or rather  series of mistakes, starting with strong words one night at dinner when they both had had a bit too much to drink and she was going on and on. He got snappy, told her they needed to slow down and enjoy each other. She responded with a blast but they were able to kiss and make up that night. The real mistake though was one time after they had not seen each other for a week or so he sent her an e-mail speaking in sorrow of the drift of their recent relationship and he wanted the spark back that had go them going. She exploded at that seeing that as a rebuke to her rather than as what he thought was a plaintive love letter. What did she call it, oh yeah, a closing argument, a damn lawyer’s closing argument (the “damn” part a result of having been married to a lawyer the first time out). They agreed to meet at a neutral restaurant to discuss the matter.

 

When he thought about it later he could see where she had prepared to be confrontational or least prepared to force the issue because the first words out of her mouth were an ultimatum-come live with her or the affair was over. The exchange got heated as she drank more wine (he did not drink that night having learned a lesson from the last session). She said something that when we talked he could not for  the life of him remember but they were fighting words. He exploded saying “I don’t need this,” throwing money on the table and storming out. That was the last he saw of her.  Oh sure the next day he tried to call, no answer. Later that day he got a message on his voicemail from her giving her walking daddy his walking papers. She told him not to call, not to write as she would not respond. He never did.

 

 

What he did do seriously in the few weeks after their break-up, what he was doing this tonight he spoke of to me as well as months later when he fretted over what had gone wrong, was think through how it could have played out differently. Did that blame game in order to curb his own lonesomeness as he replayed their short affair, as he tried to try to figure out something that had bothered him since that fierce parting. No, not about the specific details of what had caused his downfall, although he was still perplexed about why his concern about their present situation and his anger at that last meeting over her ultimatum should have been the irretrievable cause. He would accept that, had to accept that the way she perceived the situation those were the causes of his downfall pure and simple. He didn’t like it but he could see where what she said in her voicemail message that she could never see him in the old way, the way she had in the beginning of their affair when their love flamed, precluded any future romantic relationship. 

 

What he thought about mostly though concerned one point-how could two intelligent,  worldly people, who individually had many strong and powerful inner resources, not figure a way to avoid letting their fragile relationship blow away in the wind, blow away without a trace after many professions of desire, devotion and fidelity. He fretted over how little energy they had devoted to using some of those personal inner resources in order to build the foundations of a strong relationship. He had been willing to take his fair share of the blame for his “cold feet” which had him, more often than not, attempting to walk away from not toward her. That last marriage had damaged him more than he had thought and it had still colored his worldview on intimacy, on commitment, no question. That walking away as they got closer, as she started to get under his skin, always seemed strongest as he left her after some bad days when she was pushing him hard. Or when he thought the whole thing was hopeless since they lived too far away from each other to compromise on a living arrangement. Yeah, he would take his fair share of blame on that.

 

She infuriated him though with her interminable future plans while disregarding the present, although he could not speak for her and whether she believed his house of card blown in the wind idea about what had happened. She had plans for them to go to live in California when they retired, deemed it mandatory that he spent a certain number of days up in New Hampshire even while he had pressing business to take care of in Boston, but best, best as an example, was that she had their next Christmas and New Year already mapped out in March. All the time not paying attention to the drift of the tempo of their day to day relationship where he was, frankly, unhappy, very unhappy. In the end he was shocked by how little there had been to hold them together in a serious crisis which he conceded or would have conceded if she had ever decided to talk to him again was a serious crisis. Now that he thought about it he told me, no, whether she had a new walking daddy or not (or whatever new moniker she would make up for him) she would not be lonesome tonight.                         

JOIN SOCIALIST ALTERNATIVE AND KSHAMA SAWANT AT  LEFT FORUM 2014 May 30th to June 1st   From May 30th to June 1st, activists, socialists and progressives from around the country will gather in New York City for the 2014 Left Forum. This year's Left Forum will likely be one of the biggest yet. Events over the past few years have radicalized thousands of workers, youth and students who have lived through the betrayals of the Obama administration, the dysfunction of the Congress, and the domination of big business while the economy sinks deeper into recession. This year is different because this radicalization is combined with both the lessons of past defeats and the energy of recent victories. In 2013, we saw socialist ideas storm back onto the scene of US politics when Socialist Alternative ran candidates in cities across the country. We saw Ty Moore come within a few hundred votes of winning local office in Minneapolis, and Kshama Sawant defeat a 16 year incumbent for her seat on the Seattle City Council. In Seattle, we successfully transformed our campaign for local office into a mass movement to win a $15/hr minimum wage. Just a few weeks ago, we saw the first major step towards victory in this campaign. On May 1st the Mayor of Seattle, buckling under the weight of this movement, moved a bill for $15/hr to the city council for a vote, the first of its kind in the nation. Though Socialist Alternative has some sharp criticisms of the Mayor's bill, what is undeniable is that this turn of events has shattered the idea that bold working class demands are unwinnable. The fight for 15 in Seattle has shown that working class and socialist politics are not only effective, but vital. The discussions that will be taking place at this year's Left Forum reflect this turning point. The theme of this year's Left Forum is "Reform and/or Revolution". In their conference theme statement,Leftforum.org says, "As the system fails so many so badly, activists for democracy, sustainability, equality, and the abolition of oppression and exploitation increasingly grasp their shared demand for basic social justice. Fifty years of anti-communism, anti-radicalism, hesitant social criticism, and activists' mutual suspicions are fading into irrelevance." The theme of this year's Left Forum echoes the burning desire of workers and youth to see a determined and independent mass force for social and economic justice enter into the fray. Recommended Sessions Socialist Alternative's presence will be bigger than ever at the 2014 Left Forum. We are leading and co-sponsoring numerous panels that reflect the scope and diversity of our work. Kshama Sawant, Socialist Alternative City Councilmember in Seattle, will be speaking at two plenary sessions over the weekend. Kshama will speak on Saturday alongside Chris Hedges, and she will close the Left Forum on Sunday with Amy Goodman from Democracy Now! Jess Spear and Jesse Lessinger, Socialist Alternative members from Seattle and leading organizers with the 15 Now campaign, will be leading the discussion on the Fight for 15 in Seattle and Beyond. Beyond the wage issue, Socialist Alternative will be holding panels on issues of gender and race.Eljeer Hawkins, Socialist Alternative member in New York who's been active in campaigns to end stop-and-frisk policy, will be leading a panel along with Glenn Ford, Chief Editor of Black Agenda Report, on the Program for a New Black Freedom Movement. Socialist Alternative members in New York will be leading the panel on Abortion Rights, Race and Class. Workers today face a struggle for basic rights all across the country. Marty Harrison and Seamus Whelan, SA members and activists in nurses' unions, will be discussing the fight for quality healthcare and union rights in their panel on Nursing, Unions, Healthcare and Socialism. Albert Terry and Grace McGee, SA members from Alabama, will be leading the panel on Fighting for Socialism in the Deep South. The panels we are leading at Left Forum demonstrate the international character of our work as well. Alan Akrivos, SA member from New York and leading member of Occupy Astoria, will be discussing the struggle in Greece and the work of our sister organization Xekinima in our panel on Fighting Fascism and Austerity in Greece. Eljeer Hawkins will be discussing the recent election in South Africa and the events leading up to it in a panel about South Africa. In the past year, our organization has seen the tremendous excitement that our campaign in Seattle has generated among working people who are hungry for an alternative. But we have also seen that big business is ready to fight back against any gains for working people. Join us at Left Forum, take part in the discussions, and find out how you can get involved in Socialist Alternative. Help us fight for an alternative to capitalism and a socialist future.   RSVP and invite your friends! Visit SA website

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