On The 40th
Anniversary Of Bruce Springsteen’s First Album Born To Run- And More
From The Pen Of Frank
Jackman
I got my “religion” on Bruce Springsteen
ass-backward (something unkind souls of my acquaintance would say was a more
generalized condition), meaning, my meaning anyway, was that I was not an E
Street Irregular back in the day, the day we are commemorating with this post,
the day when Bruce Springsteen sprung his Jersey boy of a different kind magic
on the rock and roll scene with the issuance of the album Born To Run to a candid world. You see I was in a monastery then,
or might as well have been, and did not get the news of the new dispensation,
that there was a new “max daddy” rock and roll star out in the firmament and so
I let that past.
Here comes that
ass-backward part though. See I really was “unavailable” in that 1975 year
since I was one among some guys, some Vietnam veterans who were living under
bridges, along the riverbanks, along the railroad tracks of the East Coast from
about Boston in summer (and the area which I could from) to D.C. maybe a little
further south as the weather got colder trying to cope as best we could with
the “real” world. The post ‘Nam “real” world that just couldn’t seem to be the
same as before we left whatever we left of ourselves in burning, shooting,
napalming, molesting a whole race of very busy people with whom we had not
quarrel, no quarrel at all. So not doing a very good job of it mostly not
succeeding against the drugs (my personal problem from cocaine to meth and back
depending on when you ran into me, if you dared), the liquors (my boy Sean whom
I couldn’t save one night when the DTs got to him so bad he went down the Hudson
River from the nearest bridge he was so lost), the petty robberies (Jesus, holding
up White Hen convenient stores with hands so shaky I could barely keep the gun
from jumping out of them ), and the fight to stay away from the labor market
(work the curse of the lost boys, the boys who wanted no connection with Social Security numbers, VA forms, forwarding,
addresses, hell even General Post Office
boxes just in case some dunning repo man, or some angry wife was looking for
support, support none of us could give for crying out loud why do you think we
worked the stinking rivers, the smoke streams trains, faced the rats under the bridges).
Yeah, tough times,
tough times indeed, and a lot of guys had a close call, including me, and a lot
of guys like now with our brethren Afghan and Iraq soldier brothers and sisters
didn’t make it, guys like Sean who if you looked at him you could not believe
how gone he really was with that baby-face of his I still see now) didn’t make
it but are not on the walls in black marble down in D.C.-although maybe they
should be. Of course Brother Springsteen immortalized the Brothers Under The Bridge living out in Southern California along
the arroyos, riverbanks, and railroad tracks of the West in a song which I
heard some guys playing one night when I was at a VA hospital trying to get
well for about the fifteenth time (meth again, damn I can still feel the rushes
when I say the word) and that was that. The next step was easy because ever
since I was kid once I grabbed onto something that moved me some song, some
novel, some film I checked out everything by the songwriter, author, director I
could get my hands on.
Once I did grab a
serious chunk of Springsteen’s work, grabbed some things from the local library
since my ready cash supply was low I admit I got embarrassed. Admitted to myself
that I sure was a long gone daddy back in 1975 and few years thereafter. How
could I not have gravitated earlier to a guy who was singing the high hymnal songs
of the holy goof corner boys who I grew up with, the guys out in the streets making
all that noise (and where are they now, Frankie, Markin, Jack, Jimmy, Tiny,
Dread, and a few other who faded in and out over the high school years).
Singing about getting out on that Jack Keroauc-drenched hitchhike highway that
I dreamed of from my youth, of hitting the open road and searching for the
great American West blue-pink night that before ‘Nam every one of my corner boys
dreamed of and Sam, Sam Lowell even did, of hitting the thunder road in some
crash out Chevy looking for Mary or whatever that dish’s name was, looking for
that desperate girl beside him when he took that big shift down in the midnight
“chicken run,” in taking that girl down to the Jersey shore everything is
alright going hard into the sweated carnival night. Later getting all retro-folkie,
paying his Woody and Pete dues looking for the wide Missouri, looking for the
heart of Saturday night with some Rosalita too (and me with three busted
marriages to show for those dreams), and looking, I swear that he must have
known my story for my own ghost of Tom Joad coming home bleeding, bleeding a
little banged up, out of the John Steinbeck Okie night, coming home from
Thunder Road maybe dancing in the streets if the mood took him to that place
that you could see in his eyes when he got going, coming home from down in
Jungle-land the place of crashed dreams out along the Southern Pacific road around
Gallup, New Mexico dreaming of his own Phoebe
Snow. Yeah, thanks Bruce, thanks from a brother under the bridge.
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