Lost In The
Rain On Desolation Row -With Bob Dylan’s Highway
61 Revisited In Mind
By Jack
Callahan
“I’ve met
Einstein disguised as Robin Hood, I’ve been in the tower with Ezra Pound and
T.S. Eliot, “ declared Robert South to no one in particular although Jake
Devine was the only one in the room at the time. With those words Jake, Jake
known as Jake since childhood to distinguish him from John Devine, Senior
although his father a genial Irishman addicted to sports betting and drinking
whiskey not always in that order was more the “slap on the back Jake type”
while Jake in the throes of his high hippie moments was trying to shed that
moniker for the cooler one of Be-Bop Benny but old habits die hard and his old
high school friends called him Jake when he went on the hitchhike road west
with them in 1965,1966 the name stuck whether he liked it or not knew a couple
of things about Robert’s condition with that outburst. [This whole moniker business,
Robert’s was Prince Love for a while before he settled on Hash Man, awaits its sociological doctoral thesis since
almost everybody had a sea-change name change moniker as if that mere fact
would wash away a whole childhood of learned behaviors far removed from the
idea of seeking a newer world away.]
Jake knew
that Robert was two things-one, high as a kite on either speed or LSD the
latter just then the drug of choice among the “hip” (not always the same as “hippie”
but Jake did not want to argue the fine points on that one just then since he
himself had been on a two day speed high-low) on the mind-expanding conscious
West Coast cohort of the brethren and two, Robert had been listening to the
whole, all eleven plus minutes including harmonica breaks, of Bob Dylan’s Desolation Row at least once, probably more than once if he was
high since he would not have had the stamina to switch the sound system that
Captain Crunch had installed in their “digs” now that they were off the road
for the winter and settled into Pablo ’s mansion. This Pablo was a friend of
the Captain’s (not his real name obviously but a moniker like everybody then
trying to reinvent themselves that he picked up along the way on the Pacific
Coast Highway from some stoned chic when he picked up all and sundry in his
yellow brick road bus and did his version of Ken Kesey’s merry prankster gig.
Kesey a guy whom the Captain also knew and whom Jake and Robert had met when
the bus swung through Kesey’s La Honda encampment on the way south). His
mansion was purchased courtesy of many profitable drug deals in the south some
of which the Captain had underwritten and hence the use of the mansion for the
winter.
By the way
in compensation for being called Jake by
one and all on the bus, of which more in a minute, Jake had gathered some sense
of respect because his latest flame, a serious “hippie chick” met on the road
at Big Sur as they were heading south, Frilly Jilly, called him Be-Bop
Benny, called him a few other things
once they high on grass, you know marijuana,
got down to the “do the do,” a term the guys still carried with them
from the corner boy days in Riverdale after they had heard the bluesman Howlin’
Wolf do a song with those words in it, those words meaning hitting the sheets,
having sex. What Frilly called him in her high hormonal moments under the
sheets is best left to them.
Yeah, Jake, Robert, Jimmy Jenkins, Frank
Riley, and a guy whom they had met and taken as kindred from a mill town in
Maine, Josh Breslin (who wound up taking the Prince Love moniker when Robert
abandoned the title and it fit him better since he was the best-looking guy on
the bus and a magnet for young women who wanted to “do the do” on that
assumption), on Russian Hill in San
Francisco where they were camped out in a small park when he stopped by the bus
and asked for a joint had been on quite a ride since coming West to see what it
was all about and were learning quickly it was all about “drugs, sex and rock
and roll” at its core but also about getting out from under the old ways of
thinking and living. So when they hit Frisco they headed like lemmings to the
sea to Golden Gate Park where all the hell was breaking loose met a few guys
who “turned them on,” got them invited to a few parties, including one Captain
Crunch was throwing around the new yellow brick road bus that he had just
purchased (allegedly in a trade for a big sack of dope but all the time they
were on the bus they never had that rumor confirmed by the Captain or anybody
else and mainly it didn’t matter by then).
This bus was
nothing but an old school bus that had been turned into a moving commune after
the seats had been torn out, mattresses thrown down, a storage area for family
living material like utensils, dishes, and pots and pans, the thing had been
repainted in every Day-Glo psychedelic color under the sun and best of all
hooked up with a great sound system Dippy Mike, the guy who did the sound
system for Fillmore West and the Dead, put together for any trips they would
take.
And almost
from the start at Golden Gate Park the trips began once Captain had selected
the Riverdale boys as part of his crew to head south with him. The reason for
that heading south, the reason Robert was holding forth those lines from Desolation Row was to “house-sit” there
in La Jolla at this mansion that belonged to Pablo Rios, a friend of the
Captain’s and a serious south of the border drug dealer who was in Mexico for
the winter and the Captain had agreed to doing the sitting as we got into
“winter quarters.” Now that the bus was not being used, was being refitted with
a new engine and so not useable, the sound system had been transferred to the
house for the weekly parties the Captain threw for his friends (and whoever
happened to hear about the event and knew where to find the place, not as easy
as it sounds when stoned as it was located in a hideaway between the cliffs in
La Jolla.
Robert, once
settled in, once he got his own room with his lady-friend, Lavender Minnie, got
heavily into the dope, got heavily into listening to the amped up music and
Jake thought he had begun, like they had all heard about with kids who did too
much dope, to go over the edge.
Just as Jake
thought that thought Robert ragged out again with “they’re selling postcards of
the hanging, they’re painting the passports brown,” and Jake knew that Robert
had gone for the next eleven plus minutes to his own world. Eleven plus minutes
if he was lucky, since more than once Robert had decided that he needed to give
his own take on what the whole thing meant, what the various references meant
to him. For example that business with Ezra Pound and T.S. Eliot, the two self-imposed
exile poets who almost single-handedly broke from the old forms and created
modern poetry and were treated like gods among the hip at one point was Dylan
throwing out the gauntlet, telling those guys a new sheriff was in town. Well,
maybe, if you think Dylan was a lyric poet rather than a song-writer, or maybe
put the two together.
For example Robert
explained that postcards of the hanging stuff was his, Dylan’s political moment
like Billie Holiday had had with Strange
Fruit about the scandalous open lynching of black men in the South put
together with a new sense of masculinity turned in on itself with sailor boys
caught out on the seven seas who transformed themselves into boy-girls with
those all male crews. Once they hit port they hit the beauty parlors to freshen
up their looks for the boys, the tough Jean Genet our Lady of the Flowers rough
trade boys now that they had the taste for the seamy side, for the anal treats (truth
be known not all the seven sea boy-girls once they hit the docks looked for
rough trade or even ordinary faggots, a term of the time among Riverdale corner
boys and not only corner boys, just like guys getting out of prison went back
to their hetero dreams and left the permanents to the truly deprived girly
boys, this in a time when all homosexual behavior was below the radar so who
knows all Jake knew when Robert laid out his thoughts such talk about homos,
faggots, guys light on their feet by old corner boys was usually derogatory and
faggot was one of the kinder terms back then).
Jake had
made his fatal mistake by reminding Robert of the old days and of taking what
Robert had to say as good coin rather than the ravings of a drug-addled junkie
and so he now knew he would have to listen as Robert went through the whole
litany. (Oh, don’t forget that Jake, pretty boy Jake now being called more
frequently Be-Bop Benny and whatever Frilly Jilly called him behind closed
doors when they made loud love was also high on some mescaline so fair game). Robert
continued with his “deconstruction” before deconstruction was in fashion, literary
or literal, about that blind commissioner who somebody had put LSD, acid in his
whiskey glass and were leading him by the nose while he was playing with
himself in public. Robert truly believed that this was the ultimate political
strategy to bring in the new society that they all thought they were creating
on the road in places like the Pacific Coast Highway.
What Dylan
was saying was an early version of “drop out and drop acid,” get away from the
nine to five life but do it quietly, don’t confront the bastards directly
because they have all the guns and they will, they absolutely will, unleash
those weapons once the gentle folk get righteously angry. So Robert was living
that life, was a fugitive from bourgeois society which they more and more called
the square life they had run away from and sit back and watch the action with
his Lavender Minnie (and would do so for a while although not with Lavender
Minnie who went back to Vassar to be Sarah Stein, graduate student in sociology,
but with Red Rose, a girl who had dropped out of college to seek a newer world,
she was under the influence of Robert Kennedy via Alfred Lord Tennyson just
then).
Robert,
hell, Jake and all the other corner boys, maybe everybody except Captain Crunch
and Ken Kesey were knee deep in the myths of their incomplete childhoods. Dylan
probably too and so it was necessary to break with the illusions, forget Prince
Charming, forget looking for midnight fled slippers, forget sleeping beauties
live for black beauties, fuck little bitch red riding hood, kiss off Hansel and
Gretel, blow off most of Western literature starting with the cause of more
baloney and bullshit than one could reasonably understand, yeah, blow off
Shakespeare and his rusty dime store nostrums and two bit philosophy, dig
Buddha or Hari Krishna or Saint William Blake but lay off those heavy subtle literature
messages. Let the bears eat their fucking porridge, let Cinderella end up an
old charwoman, let snow white land inside her dreams with some sweet sister
rolling a dollar bill off some mirrored image up her nose. Let the dead bury
the dead. For a change.
All is
illusion, all is gypsy ladies selling plastic encrusted roses on drought ridden
streets to harmless schoolboys and their bitch goddess dates. Ride the Ferris
wheel baby and take a chance that you won’t come down in one piece, walk the
midway and seek the geeks of truth hiding out from the law in Madame LaRue’s all-comers
tent once that trip, that one way trip out of the garden [here Robert was
thinking of the Garden of Eden, about getting
kicked out for good all for some unknown, maybe unknowable, reason just
because Ma had bitten the apple of freedom, had taken the serpent for a ride
and lost-the first adultery and you wonder, remember Jake how we wondered in
Sunday school class with Sister Mary Kenny about why they got thrown out for one
simple transgression and how later when we knew more about sex and sexual
relations that Ma was just taking seed nothing more nothing less in case Pa was
sterile. Remember too we laughed when the sons, the first sons went at each
other tooth and nail that was to end in gunplay, something like that, what got
killed anyway, who killed which brother and why didn’t that old man God give a
goddam and save the situation instead of letting things get out of hand. Ironic
ain’t it.]
Jake had to
laugh at the next part since this required some minimal idea about English
literature of which Robert was woefully and studiously ignorant since he had
barely slipped by and only be the good graces of Frankie Riley who whatever his
shortcomings as a stand-up guy when things got heated on the midnight creep had
done Robert’s senior paper for him and squeezed him by tassel and all.
Think about
that stuff we all were hoodwinked on about Ophelia, you know Hamlet’s chick and
how she was giving up the ghost (committing suicide) not because of some lost
love but because she was pregnant, even then they had ways of figuring that out
hard fact by using some wild herb according to what Lavender Minnie said she
had heard some professor postulate on in her Freshman English class in college,
and was not sure who the father was. She,
Orphelia, had been, let’s face it, as young as she was Fontinblas’ whore and
who knows who else and if you thing about how depressed that Hamlet dude was
she was probably just puckering his seed anyway, wasting his manliness. You
have to laugh about that iron vest, what did they call them chastity belts that
all they did was make the locksmiths rich on both ends, locking them on some
squire’s orders and unlocking them when milady was left alone for more than
three days. Hell that little whore(Ophelia okay) had duplicates made and was
giving them out like candy to every half-ass princeling in Denmark who had a
codpiece that looked promising and maybe that was what it was like in that
troubled tower. That Shakespeare was way too polite to tell the real story and
let that asshole Hamlet grab the big lines and big story like we were supposed
to bleed all over the place for a guy who couldn’t decide whether to have veal
or chicken for supper. No wonder she gave up the ghost and every guy with a key
to the kingdom was crying for weeks after she went to ground.
I already
told you about Einstein and his buddy Robin Hood splitting a tab of acid and
creating atomic flowers out of rainbows made big bangs in the silent night and
the heathens paid the price and thereafter bowed down so courteously every time
some big bass drum went off in the Elysian Fields of dawn. What you didn’t know
or I didn’t mention before is that Robin Hood was punking for the old man, was
giving him his pleasure if that is what you want to call the madness. Learned
the arts from a guy named Friar Tuck out in Hard Rock Candy Mountain along with
some, servile sisters hiding in a convent which every Thursday night featured a
bawdy strip show for the boys out in the woods adjoining the mountain. Yeah,
that acid trip business would do old Albert in once Tim Leary got him over into
that midnight Harvard University lab with the shrouded windows and the screams
written off to the coyotes of the moon. And you laughed at me and Ophelia when
we went our separate ways. The laugh was on you brother, the last laugh.
You ain’t
heard nothing yet though because there was this dude that put Einstein, T.S.
Eliot and that crypto-Nazi Pound into the deep shade, put them on cheap street
remember we used to say that all the time when we were nothing but from cheap
street ourselves with our Woolworth trinket dreams and our outsized appetites
for everything that we could not have except maybe a trip around the world with
Emma when she learned the fine arts although I don’t think she learned her
trade from that Friar Tuck who hung tough around that candy cane mountain. What
we didn’t know, couldn’t figure was why she was so passive when she showed her
wares, didn’t know that she was seeping dope when that was nothing but a nasty
habit and sent people to Lexington, places like that to dry out when all she
wanted was to be able to feel, feel something, something beside her bread crumb
sins. Still passive or not she gave a boost when it was needed and remember it
was from her we learned what it was all about when somebody said she was going
to play the flute, yeah, play the flute.
Hell I am
seeing ghosts, ghosts of Christmas pass if you let me focus on the scene with
that little bastard, Tiny Tim, you know the crippled boy who broke everybody’s
heart and got more graft than anybody living and he was a bastard make no
mistake, since no way he looked like Bob Crackpot but more like Eddy Sneeze or
whatever that hard-ass boss’s name was and he had been tipping the old lady,
Bob’s old lady, all along and Tiny Tim’s older sister too just to get his way
with skinny worn out factory girls who were looking to go off the clock. If
that is what you like that is what you like, right Lavender Minnie. [Minnie
nods her assent too fucking stoned to do more than lift her head just then.]
Maybe they liked old geezers, maybe they liked the street outside their factory
doors leading straight without detour to the desolate night, to the row if you
really want to know what we really are looking for in those sunless nights when
the stars seemed to have abandoned the heavens and words, man-invented silly
words are not enough, don’t have enough energy to blow out a candle much less a
starless night. If only they wouldn’t grab all the light, let the skinny girls
fatten up on protein and sexual desire then we would not have to worry about
strong-armed guys hitting on Lavender Minnie or Frilly Jilly and having to
defend our turf when all we want to do is seek out some, what did that dandy
Fitzgerald call it way back when-something like the fresh green breast of the
new world an unspoiled world a world that had existed for eons without words or
strong-armed guys hitting on taken womenfolk.
[Now Robert was
definitely coming down from the high of his high as he attempts to wax poetic
and philosophical and it will be easier to understand where he is going with
all of this word play unless he takes another tab of benzene which is what we
are reduced to until the Captain comes back with a fistful of drugs he has
about six million connection to working the whole scene like some market owner.]
Hey you know
as well as I do that you, me, Frankie, Jack, Lavender, Frilly and a million
other kids are trying to get out from under that nine to the five rattrap our
parents were crazy to have us invest in, hustle us off to the white picket
fence noise without a squawk, going like sheep to the slaughter. We put the
brakes on that, everybody except old Bart Webber who just wanted to taste the
fresh life for a couple of minutes before running as fast as he could to his
Betsy Binstock and start paying life insurance, health insurance, mortgage
insurance and whatever else the “man” had to entice him with a security blanket
wrap. Funny those ten percent guys couldn’t light a candle to that brother who
got me out a few scrapes when the deal when down or to Betsy either but played
on that stuff, maybe genetic going back to the Stone Age when they first
started hustling insurance against the dinosaurs and meteor showers. Yeah those
guys, I guess women too, just can’t wait to have the big brother blanket put
over the whole fucking world and make us like it too. Make us get down on our
knees and thanks the mother-fuckers, make us like we don’t know from nothing just
because our parents coming through the war got all ass-tight about having
everybody do their vanilla routine. No thank you. [Apparently Robert got hold
of some kind of interim dope because he was getting edgy, out on edge city a
place he liked to be when he was in his Desolation Row high dungeon.]
You know if I thought it
would make a rat’s ass difference I would go on and on about how that pompous
ass Eliot and that Nazi-boot licker Pound twisted up the language and good.
Made us figure out that modern man, maybe women too, were spending their time
counting coffee spoons when the ship was leaving the dock, turned what did we
call it “stup” and “sim” when the deal went down and they had a chance to
prison breakout except Eliot wanted to be the Queen and Pound wanted to do some
shit with cantos and other Latin delights that we gave up on when we were altar
boys and saw Father Lally sucking up the church wine before preaching to the
brethren and before giving everybody some stale daily bread at the altar rail.
Made us like it too according to my grandmother who wouldn’t brook anything
said against the man, a man of the clothe like Eliot wanted to be if he could
not be the stately queen of England and Pound trying on his very first pair of
high heels Jesus this dope is getting to me and Lavender Minnie is starting to
look at me like I just blew in from Frisco or outer space. Let’s never fight
okay Min.
Hell I’m getting tired now,
tired of the bullshit it took for me to get out here, tired unto death of the
crap I took all those years from my mother who was always harping on something
like I was some professor who was holed up with a book and could write letters
to the four corners of the earth when all I wanted to do, all I ever wanted to
do was blow some smoke, do dope until my brain got good and fried and figure
out what my take was on Dylan’s lyrics and head out alone to the back alleys of
Desolation Row, our home. Fuck it.
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