***From The "Ancient Dreams, Dreamed" Sketches-“Hayes-Bickford Breakout 1962”
From The Pen Of Joshua Lawrence Breslin
Peter Paul Markin in his own words:
Here I am
again sitting, 3 o’clock in the morning sitting, bleary-eyed, slightly
distracted after mulling over the back and forth of the twelve hundredth run-in
(nice way to put it, right?) with Ma that has driven me out into this chilly
October 1962 early morning. And where do I find myself sitting at this time of
morning? Tired, but excitedly expectant, on an uncomfortable, unpadded bench
seat on this rolling old clickity-clack monster of a Red Line subway car as it
now waggles its way out past Kendall Station on its way to Central Square and
then to the end of the line, Harvard Square. My hangout, my muse home, my night
home, at least my weekend night home, my place to make sense of the world in a
world that doesn’t make much sense, at least not enough much sense. Sanctuary,
Harvard Square Hayes-Bickford sanctuary, misbegotten teenage boy sanctuary,
recognized by international law, recognized by canon law, or not.
That beef
with Ma, that really unnumbered beef, forget about the 1200 I said before, that
was just a guess, has driven me to take an “all-nighter” trip away from the
travails of the old home town across Boston to the never-closed Hayes-Bickford
cafeteria that beckons just as you get up the stairs from the Harvard subway
tunnel. Damn, let me just get this off my chest and then I can tell the rest of
the story. Ma said X, I pleaded for Y (hell this homestead civil war lent
itself righteously to a nice algebraic formulation. You can use it too, no
charge). Unbeknownst to me Y did not exist in Ma’s universe. Ever. Sound
familiar? Sure, but I had to get it off my chest.
After
putting on my uniform, my Harvard Square “cool” uniform: over-sized flannel
brownish plaid shirt, belt-less black cuff-less chino pants, black Chuck Taylor
logo-ed Converse sneakers, a now ratty old windbreaker won in a Fourth of July
distance race a few years back when I really was nothing but a wet-behind-the
ears kid to ward off the chill, and, and the absolutely required midnight
sunglasses to hide those bleary eyes from a peeking world I was ready to go. To
face the unlighted night, and fight against the dawn’s rising for another day.
Oh yah, I forgot, I had to sneak out of the house stealthily, run like some
crazed broken field football player down the back of the property, and, after
catching my breathe, walk a couple of miles over bridge and nasty, hostile
(hostile if anyone was out, and anyone was sniping for a misbegotten teenage
boy, for any purpose good or evil) Dorchester streets to get to the Fields
Corner subway stop. The local Eastern Mass. bus had stopped its always erratic
service hours ago, and, anyway, I usually would rather walk, in any case, than
wait, wait my youth away for those buses to amble along our way with their
byzantine schedules.
Right now
though I am thinking, as those subway car wheels rattle beneath my feet, who
knows, really, how or why it starts, that wanderlust start, that strange
feeling in the pit of your stomach that you have to move on, or out, or up or
you will explode, except you also know, or you damn well come to know that it
eats away at a man, or a woman for matter, in different ways. Maybe way back,
way back in the cradle it was that first sense that there was more to the world
that the four corners of that baby world existence and that if you could just,
could just get over that little, little side board there might be something
better, much better over the horizon. But, frankly that just seems like too
much of a literary stretch even for me, moody teenage boy that I am, to swallow
so let’s just say that it started once I knew that the ocean was a way to get
away, if you needed to get away. But see I didn’t figure than one out for
myself even, old Kenny from the old neighborhood in third grade is the one who
got me hip to that, and then Johnny James and his brother filled in the rest of
the blanks and so then I was sea-worthy, dream sea-worthy anyway.
But,
honestly, that sea dream stuff can only be music for the future because right
now I am stuck, although I do not always feel stuck about it, trying to figure
my way out of high school world, or at least figure out the raging things that
I want to do after high school that fill up my daydream time (study hall time,
if you really want to know). Of course, as well, that part about the ocean just
mentioned, well there was a literal part to the proposition since
ocean-at-my-back (sometimes right at my back) New England homestead meant
unless I wanted to take an ill-advised turn at piracy or high-seas hijacking or
some such thing east that meant I had to head west. Right now west though is
Harvard Square, its doings and not doings, it trumpet call to words, and
sounds, and actions in the October Friday night all-night storm brewing.
The train
now rounds the squeaky-sounding bend out of Central Square and stops at the
station. So now I leave my pensive seat and stand waiting, waiting for the
driver to release the pressure to let the sliding train door open, getting
ready to jump off the old subway, two-step-at-a-time my way up the two flights
of stairs and head for mecca to see if things jump for me tonight. The doors
open at last. Up the two-stepped stairs I go, get to the surface and confront
the old double-glassed Hayes door entrance and survey the vast table-filled
room that at this hour has a few night owl stranglers spotted throughout the
place.
You know the
old Hayes-Bickford, or one of them if you live in Boston, or New York City, or
a few other places on the East Coast, don’t you? Put your tray on the metal
slider (hey, I don’t know what you call that slider thing, okay) and cruise
down the line from item to item behind the glass-enclosed bins of, mostly,
steamy food, if you are looking for fast service, for a quick between doing
things, pressing things, meal. Steamed and breaded everything from breakfast to
lunch to dinner anytime topped off by dishwater quality coffee (refills on
demand, if you feel lucky). But this is not the place to bring your date,
certainly not your first date, except maybe for a quick cup of that coffee
before going to some event, or home. What this is, really, is a place where you
can hang out, and hang out with comfort, because nobody, nobody at all, is
going to ask you to leave, at least if you act half-way human. And that is what
this place is really about, the humans in all their human conditions doing
human things, alien to you or not, that you see floating by you, as you take a
seat at one of the one-size-fits all wooden tables with those red vinyl seat
covered chairs replete with paper place settings, a few off-hand eating
utensils and the usual obligatory array of condiments to help get down the food
and drink offered here.
Let me
describe who is here at this hour on an early Saturday morning in October 1962.
I will not vouch for other times, or other days, but I know Friday and Saturday
nights a little so I can say something about them. Of course there is the last
drink at the last open barroom crowd, said bar already well-closed in blue law
Massachusetts, trying to get sober enough by eating a little food to traverse
the road home. Good luck. Needless to say eating food in an all-night
cafeteria, any all-night cafeteria, means only one thing-the person is so
caught up in a booze frenzy that he (mainly) or she (very occasionally) is
desperate for anything to hang the name food on to. Frankly, except for the
obligatory hard-dollar coffee-steamed to its essence, then through some
mystical alchemic process re-beaned, and served in heavy ceramic mugs that keep
in the warmth to keep the eyes open the food here is strictly for the, well,
the desperate, drunk or sober.
I might
mention a little more about the food as I go along but it is strictly to add
color to this little story. Maybe, maybe it will add color to the story but
this is mainly about the “literary” life at the old Hayes and the quest for the
blue-pink night not the cuisine so don’t hold me to it. Here is the kicker
though; there are a few, mercifully few this night, old winos, habitual drunks,
and street vagabonds (I am being polite here) who are nuzzling their food, for
real. This is the way that you can tell the "last drink" boys, the
hail fellows well met, who are just out on the town and who probably go to one
of the ten zillion colleges in the area and are drawn like moths (and like
wayward high schools kids, including this writer) to the magic name, Harvard
Square. They just pick at their food. Those other guys (again, mainly, guys)
those habituals and professional waywards work at it like it is their last
chance for salvation.
Harvard
Square, bright lights, dead of nights, see the sights. That vision is nothing
but a commercial, a commercial magnet for every young (and old) hustler within
fifty miles of the place to come and display their “acumen”. Their hustle.
Three card Monte, quick-change artistry, bait and hook, a little jack-rolling,
fake dope-plying, lifting an off-hand wallet, the whole gamut of hustler con
lore. On any given Harvard Square weekend night there have got to be more
young, naïve, starry-eyed kids hanging out trying to be cool, but really, like
me, just learning the ropes of life than you could shake a stick at to set a
hustler’s heart, if he (mainly) or she (sometimes) had a heart.
I’ll tell
you about a quick con that got me easy in a second but right now let me tell
you that at this hour I can see a few con artists just now resting up after a
hard night’s work around a couple of tables, comparing notes (or, more likely,
trying to con each other, there is no honor among thieves in this little night
world. Go to it boys). As to the con that got me, hey it was simple, a guy, an
older guy, a twenty-five year old or something like that guy, came up to me
while I was talking to a friend and said did I (we) want to get some booze.
Sober, sixteen years old, and thrill-seeking I said sure (drinking booze is the
coin of the realm for thrills these days, among high school kids that I know,
maybe the older set, those college guys, are, I hear, experimenting with drugs
but if so it is very on the QT).
He said name
your poison, I did, and then he “suggested” a little something for himself.
Sure, whatever is right. I gave him the money and he returned a few minutes
later with a small bag with the top of a liquor bottle hanging out. He split.
We went off to a private area around Harvard Yard (Phillips Brook House, I
think) and got ready to have our first serious taste of booze, and maybe get
rum brave enough to pick up some girls. Naturally, the bottle is a booze bottle
alright but it had been opened (how long before is anyone’s guess) and filled with
water. Sucker, right. Now the only reason that I am mentioning this story right
now is that the guy who pulled this con is sitting, sitting like the King of
Siam, just a few tables away from where I am sitting. The lesson learned for
the road, for the future road that beckons: don’t accept packages from
strangers without inspecting them and watch out for cons, right? No, hell no.
The lesson is this: sure don’t fall for wise guy tricks but the big thing is to
shake it off, forget about it if you see the con artist again. You are way to
cool to let him (or occasionally her) think that they have conned you. Out
loud, anyway.
But wait, I
am not here at almost four o’clock in the Hayes-Bickford morning, the Harvard
Square Hayes-Bickford morning, to talk about the decor, the food if that is
what it is, about the clientele, humble, slick, or otherwise. I am here looking
for “talent”, literary talent that is. See, I have been here enough, and have
heard enough about the ”beats” (or rather pseudo-beats, or “late phase” beats
at this time) and the “folkies” (music people breaking out of the Pop 40 music
scene and going back to the roots of America music, way back) to know that a
bunch of them, about six in all, right this minute are sitting in a far corner
with a light drum tapping the beat listening to a guy in black pants(always de
rigueur black), sneakers and a flannel shirt just like me reciting his latest
poem. That possibility is what drove me here this night, and other nights as
well. See the Hayes is known as the place where someone like Norman Mailer has
his buttered toast after one of his “last drink” bouts. Or that Bob Dylan sat
at that table, that table right over there, writing something on a napkin. Or
some parallel poet to the one now wrapping up his seventy-seven verse imitation
Allen Ginsberg's Howl master work went out to San Francisco and blew the lid
off the town, the City Lights town, the literary town.
But I
better, now that the six-ish dawn light is hovering, trying to break through
the night wars, get my droopy body down those subway stairs pretty soon and
back across town before anyone at home notices that I am missing. Still I will
take the hard-bitten coffee, re-beaned and all, I will take the sleepy eyes
that are starting to weigh down my face, I will even take the con artists and
feisty drunks just so that I can be here when somebody’s search for the
blue-pink great American West night, farther west than Harvard Square night,
gets launched.
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