Hard Times Come Again
No More -From The Sam Eaton-Ralph Morris
Series
From The Pen Of Sam Lowell
As long as Sam Eaton
and Ralph Morris had known each other they never spent much time or effort
discussing their early lives, the events and happenstances of their coming of
age. Maybe it was because they shared many personal similarities. Like their
doggedness in pursuit when something important was on the line as it had been
when Sam had vowed to fight against the war in Vietnam after his best friend,
Jeff Mullins, who had been killed on the benighted battlefield there begged him
in letters home to tell people what was really going on if he did not get back
and Ralph having served in Vietnam had turned against the war that he had
fought and tried to stop it every way he knew how and both men now in their
sixties having put their lives on the line back then ahd stuck with the better
instincts of their natures and were still fighting the good fight against the
American government’s endless wars. Like their willingness to forgo life’s
simple pleasures in order to provide for their families, a trait they had
picked up from their own hard-working if distance fathers (they in turn if
truth be told, or if you asked the collective broods of Eaton and Morris kids,
courtesy respectively of two marriages and two divorces apiece, were
hard-working and distance as well, more than a couple of them mad as hell about
too and the cause some periodic mutual estrangements). Like, to speak of the negative
side, to speak of the effects of their hard-scrabble existences and the pull of
other guys when they were young their delights in the small larcenies of their
high school corner boy existences in their respective growing up towns in order
to satisfy some hunger. Those “sins” (since both had up in the Roman Catholic
religion, a religion known for categorizing sins, great and small), made a
close call, six, two and even, whether they would succeed or wind up in some
jail doing successive nickels and dimes in the “life” (really not so small
larcenies when one realizes that these were burglaries of homes, one of which
in Sam’s crowd had been committed with at least one gun if in the pocket, at
least at the ready).
Maybe it was the
Catholic reticence to speak of personal matters, personal sexual manners with
another male (probably Catholic female too on that side but let’s stick to male
here) both having come up “old school” working-class Catholics when that meant
something before Vatican II in the 1960s when the “s” word was not used in
polite society, not used either, God no, from the pulpit (even when discussion
came up of the obligation to, unlike the bloody Protestants with their two
point three children, propagate the faith; have scads of children to bump up
the Catholic population of the world). Maybe closer to home, to domestic home
life, it was the “theory,” probably honored more in the breech that the
observance, of “not airing one’s dirty linen in public” drilled into them by
their respective maternal grandmothers, especially when the “s” word was
involved (certainly no parents gave the slightest clues on that subject probably
assuming that the birds and the bees story line would suffice and both men
learned like millions of their generation of ’68 kindred about sex on the
streets, most of it erroneous or damn right dangerous).
Maybe, and this was probably closer to the core than the other possibilities, men of their generation, men of the generation of ’68 as Sam, the more literary of the two called their generation after the decisive year when all hell broke loose, for good or evil, mostly evil, did not as a rule speak much about private hurts, about personal issues unlike the subsequent generations who seemingly to both men’s amazement (and occasional chagrin) kept their lives as open books in a more confessional time. That “generation of ’68” designation by the way picked up from the hard fact that that seminal year of 1968, a year when the Tet offensive by the Viet Cong and their allies put in shambles the lie that we (meaning the United States government) was winning that vicious bloodstained honor-less war, to the results in New Hampshire which caused Lyndon Baines Johnson, the sitting President to run for cover down in Texas somewhere after being beaten like a gong by a quirky Irish poet from the Midwest and a band of wayward troubadours from all over, mainly the seething college campuses, to the death of the post-racial society dream as advertised by the slain Doctor Martin Luther King, to the barricade days in Paris where for once and all the limits of what wayward students could do without substantial allies in bringing down a reactionary government, to the death of the search for a “newer world” as advertised by the slain Robert F. Kennedy, to the war-circus of the Democratic National Convention in Chicago which put paid to any notion that any newer world would come without the spilling of rivers of blood, to the election of Richard Milhous Nixon which meant that we had seen the high side go under, that the promise of the flamboyant 1960s was veering toward an ebb tide.
So the two men never
spoke of various romantic interests. Never spoke of little rendezvous or
trysts, never spoke of their two respective divorces much beyond recording the facts
of the disengagements, and the animosity of the settlements which made nobody
happy except the lawyers (although neither men were gripping since Sam’s old
corner boy leader Frankie Riley performed “miracle” to get both men out from
under the worse initial terms). Never spoke much about the difficulties of
fatherhood for men who were so driven by the “big picture” world around them
and, never spoke about the deep-seeded things that drove them both to
distraction. At least that stance was true in their younger days when they had
more than enough on their plates to try to keep the dwindling numbers committed
to an all-out fight against the American military behemoth that had in a
strange manner brought them together.
Maybe too it could
have been the way that they had “met,” that strange manner, a story that they have
endlessly repeated in one form or another and which had been told so many times
by Sam mostly in the old days in small alternative presses and magazines and
more recently in 1960s-related blogs that even they confessed that everybody
must be “bored” with the damn thing by now. So only the barest outline will
suffice here since their meeting is not particularly relevant to the story
except to help sort out this reticence about relationships business. Sam, an
active opponent of the Vietnam War, and Ralph an ex-soldier of that war who had
turned against the war after eighteen months of duty there and become an
anti-war activist in his turn with Vietnam Veterans Against The War (VVAW)
after being discharged from the Army “met” in RFK Stadium in Washington on May
Day 1971 when they were down there with their respective groups trying to as
the slogan of the time went “shut down the government, if the government did
not shut down the war.”
For their ill-advised
efforts they and thousands of others were tear-gassed, billy-clubbed and sent
to the bastinado (ill-advised in that they did not have nearly enough people on
hand and were incredibly naïve about the ability and willingness of the
government to do any dirty deed to keep their power including herding masses of
protestors into closed holding areas to be forgotten if possible although Ralph
always had a sneaking suspicion the government would not have been unhappy
seeing those bodies floating face down in the Potomac). Sam and Ralph met on
the floor of the stadium and since they had several days to get acquainted were
drawn to each other by their working-class background, their budding politics,
and their mutual desire to “seek a newer world” as some old English poet once
said. And so they had stuck together, almost like blood brothers although no
silly ceremony was involved, stuck
politically mostly, through work in various peace organizations and ad hoc anti-war committees fighting the
good fight along with dwindling numbers of fellow activists for the past forty
plus years.
There were thick and
thin times along the way as Ralph stayed close to home in Troy, New York
working in his father’s high-precision electrical shop which he eventually took
over and had just recently passed on to his youngest son and Sam had stayed in
the Greater Boston area having grown up in Carver about thirty miles south of
Boston building up a printing business that he had started from scratch and
from which he in turn had just turned over to his more modern tech savvy print-imaging
son, Jeff. The pair would periodically take turns visiting each other sometimes
with families in tow, sometimes not and were always available to back each
other up when some anti-war or other progressive action needed additional warm
bodies in Boston, New York or when a national call came from Washington. Lately
now that they were both retired from the day to day operations of their
respective businesses and also now both after their last respective divorces
“single” they have had more time to visit each other.
It had been on
Ralph’s last visit to Sam who now resided in Cambridge that he tentatively broached
to him his interest in the genesis of a term Sam had always used, “wanting
habits” as in “I had my wanting habits on” when he was talking about wanting
some maybe attainable, maybe not but which caused some ache, some pain, created
some hole in him by not having the damn thing just in the way he said it. Of
course maybe Ralph had been “rum brave” that night since he had asked the
question while he and Sam were cutting up old touches at “Jack’s” in Cambridge
a few blocks from Sam’s place and were drinking high-shelf whisky at the time.
That high shelf whisky detail is important to the story if only by inference
since in their younger days when they were down on their luck or times were
tight they would drink low-shelf rotgut whisky or worst to get them through
some frost-bitten night. Now they could afford the booze from the top-shelf
behind Jimmy the bartender’s back. Of course as well since both men had been
attached to music since childhood the reason besides being close to home that
Sam liked to hang at Jack’s was that it had a jukebox stacked full of old time
tunes that you could not find otherwise outside of maybe Googling YouTube these
days.
The selection on the
juke when Ralph posed the question had been the Mississippi Sheiks’ Rent Day Blues, a personal favorite of
Sam’s, about how the narrator in the song had no chance in hell to make the
rent and the rent collector man was at the door. Ralph had mentioned to Sam
that at least his family had never had to worry about that problem, as tough as
money times were before his father landed some contracts to do electrical work
for the biggest concern in the area, General Electric. Ralph’s family had been
the epitome of 1950s “golden age” working-class attitudes buying into the Cold
War red scare every child under the desk in case the Russkies blow the big one,
the atomic bomb, keep the damn n----rs out of the neighborhood, get ahead but
not too far ahead and all the other aspects of that ethos but they also had
enough dough to not need to have every penny accounted for and begrudged. Sam
looked stunned for a moment as Ralph described his childhood existence and told
Ralph that while they were both working-class guys coming up that his family
lived much closer to the depths of society, closer to the place where the
working poor of Carver met the con men, rip-off artists, drifters, grifters, midnight
sifters and refuge of society, down in the projects, not a pretty place.
Ralph, at first,
could not see where Sam was going with the talk but then Sam let out some of
the details. See his father, Thornton, had been nothing but an uneducated
hillbilly from down in the coalmining country in Appalachia, Kentucky, had
worked the mines himself. When the Japanese bombed Pearl Harbor he had jumped
in with both hands and feet as a Marine seeing action, seeing plenty of action
although Sam who had been off and on estranged from his family for many years
before they had passed away did not find this out until later after his father
died from an uncle, in all the big Pacific War battles they teach in high
school. Thornton never ever talked about his war that much but did say one time
when they were on speaking terms that between fighting the “Nips” (Thornton’s
term popular among American G.I.s who faced the Japanese on the islands) and
the coal barons he would take the former, the former gladly. Before Thornton
was demobilized he had been assigned to the big naval shipyard over in Hingham,
not far from Carver where his mother grew up. His mother, Delores, due to
wartime shortages of manpower had worked in the offices there. One USO dance
night they met, subsequently fell in love and were married and thereafter had a
brood of five boys close together. Maybe not a today story but not that
uncommon then.
But go back to that
part about Sam’s father’s heritage, about coal-mining country. Where the hell
in all the Commonwealth of Massachusetts was there room for a hard-working
coalminer, a coal miner’s son. Delores had made it clear she was not moving
down to the hills and hollows of Kentucky after one brief shocking humiliating
trip there to meet Thornton’s kin, his expression, and he had no feeling for
the place after being out in the big world so their fates hinged on Carver, or
Massachusetts anyway. They took a small apartment in the Tappan section of
Carver, the section on the edge of where the poor, the poor in Carver being the
“boggers,” those who worked the cranberry bogs in season that the town was
famous for, and the, what did Marx call them, the lumpen, the refuge of society
meet. As more boys came they doubled up on everything but there is no air to
breathe when seven people trample over each other in a small space. Moreover
Thornton in the throes of the 1950s “golden age of the American worker” got
left behind; was inevitably the last hired, first fired and was reduced to
whatever was left, including time served in the bogs ( a personal affront to
whatever dignities Delores had since she had been taught to despise the
“boggers” in her polite society home).
That hand-to-mouth
existence took its toll. At some point after repeatedly dodging the rent
collector man the Eaton family was evicted from their small private apartment and
they were reduced to the heap, the Carver public housing projects, the lowest
of the low and recognized by one and all as such. Here is where that view of
the world Sam assimilated got formed. The never having money, the battle of the
six nights straight of oatmeal for supper and no lunch (in those days before
the school lunch programs mercifully spared the worst of the hungers), some
days of nothing to eat but patience, the
passing down of the too larger-sized older brothers’ clothing bought by a
desperate mother at the Bargain Center and which had been out of fashion for
many a year (causing baiting by the non-projects classmates who lived up the
road about shanty Irish and worse, about being a “bogger’s” son).
While Sam was talking
he suddenly remembered, as an example of how tough things were, one time to
impress some girl, a non-projects girl, a daughter of a middle class professional
man he thought, he had cut up his pants to seem like a real farmer at some
school square dance and Delores beat him with a belt buckle screaming how dare
he ruin the only other pair of pants that he owned. And that was not the only
beating Sam took as Delores, who handled discipline, to spare the ever weary
hard-pressed Thornton, became overwhelmed with the care of five strapping boys.
And so Sam graduated to the “clip” at first to get some spare dough and later
those larcenies that almost got him into the county clink doing nickels and
dimes. After that spiel Sam buttoned up, would say no more as if to say that if
he did then he would be far too exposed to the glare of the world’s eyes even
if only Ralph’s.
Ralph, ever being
Ralph, thought for a couple of minutes about what Sam had disclosed and then simply
said-“Sam, you earned your ‘wanting habits,’ earned them the hard way. I don’t
need to know any more” Enough said.