Internet
Love-The Trials And Tribulations Of A Romantic Fool
By
Bradley Fox
Judd
Jasper had always been, and will always be by his own admission, a fool for
love. Do things in the name of love, or better sex that he would not dream of
doing in his otherwise rational mind and world. I should know since I have seen
him in action since he was kid, since we first met in seventh grade at
Riverdale Junior High (now called a middle school and has been for while so
that you know that Judd and I are no spring chickens which may be part of
Judd’s current malaise which we will get to in a moment). In the old days it
was just a matter of saying or doing the wrong thing to the wrong girl face to
face and getting the deep freeze and then moving on. In high school it was more
about him being crazy over some girl and not consulting me about whether she
was “spoken for” or not and getting egg in his face when he got the bad news.
See I was the go-to guy for all that kind of grapevine information because from
that seventh grade on both boys and girls would confide in me, trust me to let
them know what was what.
Of
course best friend Judd couldn’t be bothered taking his best friend’s consult
the one time he was “hot” for this fox, and she was a fox, Diana Nelson, and
decided one cold night around midnight to call her up for a date. And got
slammed with the hard fact that she was going steady with a college guy, which
is why in his feeble mind he thought she was “free” like a fox couldn’t get
some attraction from college guys. Of course I too had a crush on her but got
over it when she told me about the college Joe whom she had been going steady
with for about a year when Judd made his big bad move. Of course later when he
went off to college at State U and I went to work in my father’s insurance
company he made every known mistake one can make in the love game but that is
to be expected because but then the young women have had enough experience to
keep any guy going crazy for any reason. So no apologies necessary there. What
apologies do need to be forthcoming concern those two throw-away marriages to Lana
and Melinda before he got smart and married Laura on the third go-round. I was
there for all of that although I might as well have been an invisible man for
all the good it did me to tell him anything.
I
should have known some was up, some woman problem when Judd called me one night
and vaguely hinted that he was in some woman trouble, not with Laura, at least
not yet but this weird situation where he was being outsmarted by some young
woman he met on the Internet. Like I said Judd keeps his own consult except he
comes running to me for salvation when some skirt is around, some scent of
jasmine as we used to call it when we were in high school. This is the first
time though as far as I know that love on the Internet entered the picture. He
said he needed to talk to me face to face so we agreed to meet at Blinky’s, a
bar we frequented more of late for lots of reasons which was across the street
from his law office in downtown Lowell, Massachusetts the next day after he
closed the office for the day about six in the evening. Here is the way he told
me the story, told it after we had our obligatory couple of scotches to unwind.
I let him tell it because I don’t think I could do justice and I will just
throw in a smirky or sarcastic comment as we go along:
“You
know I have been kind of a sex maniac all my life, although nothing kinky or
crazy and nothing that other guys are not into but I have always been just a
little off if I don’t have some sex, or some prospect of sex. Remember we used
ot talk about what the hell to do about our desires on weekend nights when we
used to hang around Harry’s Variety dateless-girl-less and dough-less equals
zero. What you probably don’t know, no, I know you don’t know is that over
about the last five years, when I turned about fifty-five I think I have been
periodically going on these Internet sex sites that advertise that you will get
laid, get a date, get your clock cleaned or whatever come on they used to get
you join up. The reason and this is why I know you don’t know this is that
around that time and now too Laura has left me in the deep freeze, doesn’t want
to “do the do” as we used to called it back at Harry’s after we heard the old
bluesman Howlin’ Wolf on the radio singing about getting laid using that
expression. So that was that. But as a result I found myself still feeling
randy and since I didn’t want to, don’t
want to give up for lots of good reasons besides loving her I started checking
out the Internet. Here’s the funny part you expect this all to be hush-hush on
the down low but all you have do is Google the word “sex” to get more sex sites
that you could shake a stick at. With more explicit sex as come-ons than you
could shake a stick, although that part is not bad when you think about how we
had to sneak Playboy and other girlie
magazines we would purchase out of town and titter over them in the dark night
of our roosm.
So
I took the plunge that was how I met Sarah, a young very young although legal
woman who had just graduated from high school and in order to fit in at
Emerson, the big acting and performance school in Boston, was looking for a
sugar daddy to replace he long gone real daddy who ran off with some mistress
or something I don’t remember all the details and the first order of business
was to pay for her to have some lip enhancement operation, you know
cosmetic surgery. In return she would
give her “sweet daddy” anything he wanted (except anything too kinky, that part
never got resolved since I wasn’t that much to doing B&D or S&M with
her although she in theory was willing to try it out if I insisted). [Jesus
Judd talk about “robbing the cradle” whatever happened to that thing you talked
about one night about twenty-somethings being your meat of push came to shove.]
Now
this sex site thing despite that fling with Sarah, naturally that is all it
could be, is a lot harder and frankly treacherous than you might expect. A lot
of it has to do with come-on, false come on to get lonely guys like me, or the
socially awkward, hell, guys wo have trouble even talking to women signing up
on the dotted line complete with credit card in hand before you can even take
step one. That is the reality despite all the bells and whistles but it took a
while, and ditching a few useless sites to figure that out. A lot of the
profiles are fake, house players if you were using a gambling metaphor, a lot
are of women who submit their details from when they were twenty years younger
and twenty pounds lighter. I’ll admit that I fudged on the age thing saying I
was fifty when I was fifty-five so I don’t have much of a bitch about there and
frankly so of these women are looking for some fourteen old up in there room
masturbating over the latest heartthrob and won’t give you a tumble. So I had
plenty of flame-outs before Sarah came on the scene out of the blue.
In
her profile Sarah made no bones about what she was looking for and made it
clear as well as long as the guy was still breathing he and had the dough he
would have a shot at her. Naturally the photograph of her probably taken on
class day was of a dewy good-looking if not beautiful young woman. Moreover I
sensed that she meant what she said about what she would offer up in exchange.
So almost as a goof I contacted her, she responded, and then sent each other a
blizzard of e-mails finally leading up to our arranging a meeting in a public
place, a restaurant, my suggestion to show I was on the up and up. She showed
up and of course she looked even younger than I suspected from her photograph.
[You could have walked away Judd after all it was totally possible that she
could have been your granddaughter if I am estimating that possibility right
based on what you have told me.] You know me though as a professional yakking
and listener I was able to cull some “common” interests that we shared (love of
music, books, movies) into enough for us to consider a second date. I had
qualms but I keep pushing because then I became a captive of the idea that I
could get a second youth if we bounced around the bed a bit. In other words I
was the classic “dirty old man” that every self-respecting mother warned their
daughters against. But she was playing her come hither look once I told her
that there would be no problem with getting her that lip operation although I
told her several times her lips looked fine to me. That did it for her so when
I suggested the next time we meet we go to a hotel she didn’t balk, only asked
if she should wear sexy lingerie and should she bring the condoms or should I
take care of that.
That
first night was great because she was so eager (eager not for me but those new
lips I know in retrospect but that didn’t matter when my heat was up) to please
and I was the one who was a little shy since I only had us do oral sex which we
both liked although she said she liked to have a man inside her after that.
Moreover she gave one of the best blow-jobs I have every received and that
include was from my first wife Joyce who had made that an art form since she
was not because of some off-handed medical problems into conventional sex. So
Sarah and I had our few months of a couple of time a week going to a hotel
mostly and getting it on. Got it on best when we got high on grass, or had a
couple of glasses of wine. Eventually though after the lip operation I started,
get this I started to have second thoughts about this especially as I was tired
of lying to Laura about my whereabouts on those seemingly endless client
meetings. So we parted, and maybe she was just as glad although I can still
smell her jasmine and feel that tongue lashing she gave my cock every time she
went down on me. [Stop, brother, stop I didn’t take my heart medication
today.]
So
I was okay for a while but then early this year I got the randy feeling again
after a few years of Laura’s no-sex laws and so I started thinking about
checking out the sex sites again this time not looking for a teeny-bopper but a
twenty-something to I make me feel young which is the way I placed the idea on
my profile page. I actually went back to the site where I “met” Sarah thinking
that I might hit pay-dirt again. Silly me. Of course unlike Amazon or those
kind of sites this sex site stuff moves all around cyberspace so I had to check
out others and came up with a well-known one that had caused a stir because
some jokers had hacked it or something. I went out as a “free” member of
course, they all do that but that gets you exactly nowhere as I found out the
last time. But unlike the last time seasoned veteran that I am I fooled around
with the site to see if it was worth playing dough for. It was so-so, nothing
really came up except the twelve million come-on messages by the house players
or the rogues (people, women for me, who try to lure guys to their competing
sex sites or for what amounts to on-line prostitution, which if you think about
it is a half-good thing since those women are much safer than being on the
streets or in some whorehouse), a couple of nibbles but nothing really decent.
One
day though I saw a profile (no photo like a lot of them which I have learned to
usually passed by as no-go stuff because the few times I did make contact thee
was a serious reason why there who no photo) which intrigued me because it
directed me to a person off-site g-mail address. I figured what the hell give a
go, although usually this g-mail stuff turns out to be bogus. I sent an e-mail
and got a reply along with a couple of photos of an extremely attractive young
woman with long black hair, very pretty face, great red lips and a nice bosom
who asked me what I was looking for and I told her that I was looking for a
younger woman, blah, blah, bhah. She didn’t flinch and then told me that she
was a cam-modeler working out of Nashua, New Hampshire and was looking for an
older guy and so on. Not as a sugar daddy as she explained once when I
mentioned that idea but to take care of her needs which strangely enough
despite being a sex worker of sorts by profession had not been met over the
past few years while she was doing this work. Naturally we got around to ages
and those type facts. I will be honest because you know me I told her I was
fifty-five not sixty just to make the age difference a little less since she
was twenty-five. [Christ, Judd you are worse than some women, women of our
generation with that dipping the age stuff what different would it make to her
or any women if she was looking for somebody older worry about five.]
So
we ran a blizzard of e-mails I told her I was a lawyer and all that and she
seemed okay with moving along. To push my side I told her if she wanted I could
get her modelling jobs for lingerie or gym wear, you know through Kenny who is
always looking for a fresh look, or remember that client I had who did the
soft- core porn that I got off that bum rap if she wanted to be a porn queen I
could help maybe. She was kind of non-plussed by that. I was surprised until I
asked what a cam-model did and she told me about playing with sex toys for the
cameras (and guys out in cyberspace). I got my temperature up after that. No
question.
Then
things started getting a little off-kilter which is why I am talking to you
right now. [Yeah, the king of keep his own counsel wags his tail at the women
and gets it bitten off and then I have to come and figure out what the heck to
do short of placing you in some rest home.] She mentioned that she was in some
kind of contest among the women in cam-world to be the feature of the month or
something and could I, pretty please, pretty, pretty please go to her private
page on this other website and vote for her. No problem. [Smirk.]
What
the long and short of it was which I should have known was that she had come
from a competing site to lure guys away and go to that site. Like I say this
stuff goes on all the time and I was no stranger to it but I was looking for
something so I played along for a while. What was happening though was that a
bogus scam operation, a crude one that wouldn’t have fooled any but the most
gullible when they “requested” a credit card to get on their free site. The
idea of the credit card was to check for sexual predators-Jesus think about
that, trying to get guys on the site with that come-on. The kicker though was
that the name of the site was written one way in the title and another in the
body of the printing. Jesus, again. But she was adamant that I attempt to join
until I told her straight out that she was being used for a scam (playing along
with the idea that she didn’t know what was happening). That I thought was the
end of the matter and I moved on.
A
few days later though she sent an e-mail wondering what had happened to me, why
I hadn’t sent her an e-mail. So we started again and besides being still
interested in her I figured I would give her the benefit of the doubt on that
scam thing. [Gives a look like Judd shouldn’t have given that benefit of the
doubt without even knowing what was coming next.] It didn’t hurt that she sent
a few revealing photos showing a very fit body with nice tits and ass. [Done,
done for…] So we moved on over the next couple of days kind of making
arrangement to meet in Nashua over that next weekend.
Then
she started e-mailing about how her mother in the Philippines was in the
hospital in critical condition and needed dough for drugs or an operation. It
kind of changed a little with each e-mail. [Oh brother I can see what’s
coming.] Only 500 bucks. Well I knew this was a semi-hustle when you think
about it after that bogus sex site scam thing but I went along for a bit, a
good bit pointing out in particular that we had never met, I didn’t know her as
anything but an e-mail address and after all since I had no relationship with
her why I was I going to put myself over this. We went back and forth. I
smelled something funny but would go back and forth on whether to play, or
stay. And then she did two things-sent some really revealing photos and told me
she would suck my cock until it hurt, go deep throat if I wanted, over the next
weekend at a hotel that we would go to when we made arrangements. [Bingo!] So
naturally I sent the dough via Western Union to some guy, her cousin, in
Manila, yeah, five hundred bucks which was going for the meds.
You
know you would be surprised how easy it is to send money via Western Union. I
don’t recall if I ever used that service for sending messages to anybody,
seemed kind of old-fashioned like snail-mail or land-lines are now, but I know
that I never sent or received money that way except maybe one time when Lana
and I were done in Mexico and kind of broke she sent up to New York for dough
from her parents and that might have been through Western Union. But in those
days you had to go to some brick and mortar place to do your business. Now with
credit card in hand and the Internet you can do it very quickly for a
reasonable service charge-except apparently it is not so easy to send the dough
to foreign countries the way the credit card security systems work, and usually
rightfully so, for such transactions-at least for mine. Remember I was down in
Washington doing this thing after a furious exchange of sexy e-mails
highlighted by that deep throat vision early in the morning (me being an early
morning person and she being a night owl we mixed around three or four in the
morning) I went on-line to see where the nearest Western Union office would be
in D.C. and like a lot of things that I don’t automatically think would be
on-line still being half in the dark ages about modern communications
technology like you very well know with that texting business I noticed that
you could sent money via the Internet after filling out the inevitable on-lone
security-password-secret question chicken gumbo e-page work. That nada-I tried
using a couple of credit cards and a bank check and still nada. As it was
explained to me a lot of this scam stuff works through foreign countries so
they filter that kind of transaction more carefully. So next morning or really
later that morning I trundled to a Western Union agency at a liquor store and
did my business after filling out the snail version of the previous online
paperwork. Done and I e-mailed her that information.
That
issue settled I, we, started making plans for getting together that weekend
once I got back from Washington. As it turned out they must work these girls
something fierce, although I didn’t say anything at the time figuring I would
get the dope on the business when we met (naturally it was turn-on even
thinking about the idea that I would be asking a sex worker, because that is
really what it is, about the conditions of work, and maybe some hot stories).
Her day off was Sunday but she could arrange to meet starting Saturday
afternoon and we would go to a hotel for the nighty. I made several suggestions
but she said I should decide and I presented the idea of going to York and the
beach, etc. like I have done with about twelve thousand women, although not all
of them at York (all of them at the ocean though). So ready, set, go. No go. A
few hours after sending the dough to Manila I get an e-mail from her that her
mother had passed away. Done. I figured
that was the big-kiss-off the final hook to this scam and I should learn to
keep my cock in my pocket with this stuff and not in some fantasy deep throat
kid’s stuff. Chalk it up to live and learn. La, la, la smart guy had been
taken. And when I didn’t hear from her for several hours when I made a bogus “sorry
for your sorrows” message figuring I would get no answer I figured that was
that. [You’re preaching to the choir, brother, your own choir, but you knew
that, knew that.]
But
it turned out that that was not that because after that several hours she sent
me an e-mail with a photograph on a plane heading for Manila saying she was
going to be giving her mother a final sent-off and essentially act as the
dutiful if errant and fallen daughter. (The dough which must have been a fair
amount for a quick notice flight was lend, assume by her agency, meaning the
greed-heads who were exploiting her labor probably expecting their own deep
throat pay-offs too boot.) Moreover she sent me an e-mail once she arrived in
Manila. So for the next day or so we did our sorrowful times black-bordered
e-mail stuff until she started talking about how the hospital would not release
the body of her mother, that they would keep it in the morgue pending payment
of 800 dollars in medical bills. So naturally I am ready, more than ready to
have the other shoe drop. You know where this is heading-a classic scam, like
oh yeah just five hundred dollars to be paid back with the next paycheck (the
original arrangement) to help me through this hard time, then the next step a
little more, not much but a little, say 800 dollars, then what, well, if she
didn’t have the dough for medical expenses then how was she to pay for the
funeral and then probably something for her way home (although she told me that
she had a round-trip ticket from the agency), figure 1200, 1500 hundred and
then who knows what else. Maybe pay for getting her cellphone out of hock in
Nashua since she said that she had done that to help pay some mother medical
expense. (Who knew, not me, that Iphones/Smartphones had some black/grey market
value these days a question that I asked her when she told me that she took
that plane photograph with a camera phone that one of her co-workers lent her
and which she told me she sold in Manila to pay for some overdue rent.) [Jesus,
Judd when did you totally lose it in the old days you would have walked away
even from some jasmine-scented dame her all you have is cyber-space vapor.]
So
we go round and round on that until one e-mail out of the blue she asks me,
although I actually missed it the first time to “pretty-please help her
out-again and then sent a quick second e-mail telling me to Western Union her
in her name. [Is Western Union capable of being a verb?] So we went round and
round so more and I told her I she should check with the charity hospital to
see if she could get a waiver for being indigent, check with the American
Embassy for help, and about seven other suggestions which she blew off. No,
“her man,” her new sucker was the only way to go. I started to tell her about
my own not so made up tale of woes about my current financial difficulties
trying to get out from under this scam but still with half mind that she might
be on the level, a little, because there were holes in her story which I tried
to exploit but as usual with these things they have a come-back that is half
plausible. So the long and short of it was that I sent her the 800 bucks using
my personal account-you know the one I share with Laura. That was the last I
heard from her. Figures right. My problem is what do I tell Laura about the
double-hole of 500 and 800 unexplained dollars. Needless to say I won’t go into
that deep throat stuff.
[Off-hand
Judd I would say shoot yourself and put yourself out of your misery. A guy like
you has had a long life and nothing will change that shirt-chasing except at
seventy-five you will be passing yourself off as sixty-five and the girls will
still be twenty-something and you can be a reverse Dorian Gray. Enough
said.]
