Cold Water in the Eye: My Experiences in Freedom Road Socialist Organization (Left Refoundation)
http://enaadoug.wordpress.com/2011/08/17/cold-water-in-the-eye-my-experiences-in-freedom-road-socialist-organization-left-refoundation/
By Enaa/Doug Greene
From November 2008 to June 2009, I was a member of the Freedom Road Socialist Organization/FRSO (Left Refoundation). This was a natural outgrowth of previous political development which had largely been academic. I was well-read in Marxist theory and itching for some form of action. I believed after my initial encounters with FRSO that this was a group that was advancing a communist agenda. Very quickly, I was disabused of this notion.
Until I joined FRSO, I was largely aloof from organized communist groups. I had considered myself a conscious communist for some time, but I had not joined. Many of the groups that I considered left a bad taste in my mouth. Too many organizations I didn’t even look at because they were little more than sects debating the Marxist equivalent of how many angels can dance on the head of a pin. I wanted to join an organization that was principled, not bound by sectarianism and engaged in practical organization. From my own vantage point, nothing seemed to fit the bill.
So what did I, a communist do instead of joining a group? I donated money. I attended various demonstrations. I contributed occasional pieces of writing to various magazines. Mostly I studied. I spent nearly five years in college and practically worked full time as a cashier/assistant manager to pay my way. I made it a point to deepen my knowledge of communism whenever I got the chance.
Yet mere knowledge wasn’t enough. It could serve me when debating in a college class or on a paper. I wanted to do more. I wanted to be in the struggle. So when I got the chance, I took it.
In early 2008, I had finished my undergraduate degree and was applying for graduate school (history major in both if you were wondering). Through a friend, I learned about a labor/immigrant/student political economy study group near where I lived. This friend offered to let me join in. Itching for some practical struggle, I jumped at the opportunity.
I won’t recount the details of the study group here (if you’re interested read my essay, Observations on FRSO and the Mass Line). At the time, I had a positive experience. I worked with about 15 students, immigrants, and workers. We seemed to get a basic grasp of political economy. It taught me a great deal about practical organizing, holding a study group, and just hearing people out. I think I romanticized it at the time, later after leaving I grew more critical (the group didn’t discuss communism or break with Democrat/reformist ideas). When one of the organizers (who was in FRSO) talked to me about joining the group, I was definitely interested.
Well, I didn’t get involved with the group right away. Potential members had to attend various study groups and then were formally asked to join. Through the summer of 2008, I attended about four sessions. The topics discussed were Women/Gender Oppression, National Question, Mass Line, and Marxist Politics. There were no more than seven people at each group. These groups were mostly a back and forth on what we’d read (which consisted of short articles).
The sessions certainly were friendly and respectful of the various opinions exchanged. It felt like I was among comrades. Yet there were misgivings in the background that I became aware of later on. Some of those attending the meetings were really excited about the US Presidential Elections (this was 2008 and Obama was the great hope). I didn’t see why Marxists should be involved in cheer-leading for Obama. I could see why they were excited for him since he was Black and his election could be a blow to white supremacy (yet his politics were decidedly reactionary which was never addressed by those at the meetings).
Related to this was that while there was a lot of talk about Obama, there was none about communism. Sounds strange, but hear me out. I was fighting for communism and assumed everyone else in FRSO was too (you know what they say when you assume). Communism was something in the future. It was a far off goal that wasn’t discussed. This got to me the more I thought about it. There was a lot of discussion about student and worker organizing (as there should be). But it was an incomplete discussion. What was the point of this discussion if not to advance toward communism? There was no relation of our movement to its end. We seemed to talk about getting people active (in unions and politics). All well and good. But no discussion of getting people active as communists. It was about getting active in whatever was going on at the moment and no relation to the future. Isn’t the place of a communist to raise consciousness and relate the particular struggle to the communist end?
Organizing to me made no sense if there was no relation to communism. Let me elaborate. My late father was an organizer for the local Democratic Party where I lived. He was a damned good organizer too. He could get people to meetings or a lecture. He could mail out literature. He could go door to door for a candidate. Yet it didn’t mean a thing. His organizing was all to perpetuate the status quo (we argued over the point many times). He could get people elected, but they wouldn’t challenge anything of the putrid capitalist system. They might propose a few reforms, but nothing substantial. His organizing was within the confines of the system. It didn’t raise the consciousness of those involved. It didn’t seek a new and better society. In many ways, I felt that what FRSO was doing was similar to my dad’s activities…except my dad was up-front about where he stood.
These misgivings remained with me as the summer wore on. But either through being naive or sheer inexperience, I still decided to join up with FRSO. By now, the economy was crashing and Obama was coming into office. The FRSO members were real hopeful about some kind of radical opening. So was I. I wanted to take a shot at the system.
Although I joined FRSO in November, I didn’t attend my first meeting until early January 2009. It wasn’t the best time for me to be active though. I was doing a student teaching practicum which was at least forty hours of work a week (with no pay). The practicum was part of graduate school work which took most of the rest of my time. I had a class on campus that I also had to study for. I had another job on campus too (paid!) that helped with tuition and had flexible hours, but it was still a drain. Lastly, there was a crisis in my family (someone I was close to was suicidal). As you can imagine, I was stretched to the limit. Still, I was a communist and I was determined to do my small part for the revolution.
I managed to juggle everything fairly well until my practicum ended (May if you’re wondering) which freed up my time. I was able to attend the required meetings of FRSO, but it soured pretty damned fast.
At the first meeting, the local group was throwing a party to celebrate Obama’s inauguration (other Obama linked ‘popular’ groups in the area were also attending). This disgusted me. How could a socialist group even consider celebrating the inauguration of a capitalist leader? I was supposed to pass out leaflets on campus and do some organizing on facebook. I was given a bunch of fliers dealing with the ‘celebration.’ The next time I was campus, I ditched them in the fist trash can I found. I also made an excuse to get out of the party (my father was throwing one for Obama too, why didn’t I go to that). I didn’t sign up to fight for them.
The FRSO members said that they were throwing this party to stay linked with the active masses. They said that it was to raise their consciousness and keep the Obama base involved in various struggles. Yet the only struggles talked about were more reforms that could be had. How could this be otherwise if you weren’t going to put your communist politics boldly out in front? FRSO was making out like someone who understood the masses was seemingly in power. It seems that instead of raising the consciousness of the masses, they just lowered themselves to the worst reformist illusions.
The other meetings weren’t so bad, but that isn’t to say that they were any good. It was always about pushing Obama/Democrats to the left. I remember when the health care bill came up. FRSO members talked about trying to get the best possible plan with a public option. There was never a word about socialized medicine (my dad was actually calling for that). Other topics like card check or Iraq were pretty much the same. Let’s lobby. Let’s put a little pressure on our Democrats friends by writing letters or having a rally. It was all about getting a little more and being realistic. I remember being told that you had to compromise and do what was possible since we lived in a non-revolutionary period.
Funny, I knew that if you played by the system’s rules you weren’t going to get very far. FRSO seemed to be willing to accept the game board the system had laid out. As a communist, I believed that we needed to dip that game board in gasoline and light it up. Weren’t we supposed to change the very constellation of choices? Wasn’t there a slogan that said: be realistic and demand the impossible?
There were a few other points that crept in and galled at me. One member was pretty critical of Lenin and Mao (even calling the Bolshevik revolution mistaken at one point). That got on my nerves. Here I was in a socialist organization that was more critical of Lenin than Obama. Cunning of reason I suppose.
The FRSO members seemed nostalgic of their past activities (most of those I was with were in their 50s). What they’d done in past struggles was something to be proud of. It was like talking about the exploits of being high school and all the crazy/fun things you did. But now you’re grown up and taking things seriously. I’m a historian and I like talking about the past too, but shouldn’t our past struggles be linked to the present.
I do have a slight confession to make here. I hope that you see it as a normal human failing. I remember feeling that since I had joined the FRSO and had so little experience that I should try and learn and not rock the boat (at least not until I was more active). To be fair, the FRSO members were respectful of the demands on my time and seemed to realize that everyone had other personal commitments. Whenever I went to meetings, I didn’t really speak up. I was already tired from my busy life. I just went through the motions.
This isn’t some disillusioned communist story though. During this time, I remember reading around. I read various socialist critiques of Obama. I also was attracted to Kasama’s constant reporting which was bold and refreshing for being critical of Obama and upholding communism. That was more than I could say about FRSO.
In May 2009, my teaching practicum ended which freed up alot of time. Now I wasn’t working two jobs, but just one. I still had graduate courses, but they were manageable. My family situation also stabilized. FRSO wanted me to get active since I had more free time. Yet I was determined to get out of FRSO. It all came down to a simple question: why work in the group if it wasn’t working for communism? The parting went fairly well. One member I was friends with tried to keep me in. But I didn’t want to stay. So just as quickly, I was out. I never told my dad that I was an FRSO member until I left. When I shared my experience with him, I was surprised that he found them unprincipled too.
Yet that isn’t the end of the story. Not quite. A year later, there had been a death in the family. It was pretty sudden. At this point, I had pretty much focused whole-heartedly on graduate school (I finished in August 2010). Yet I wanted to get back active. I sent out some feelers to a few friends about what organizing was going on. The FRSO got back to me. I wondered if the FRSO had seen the errors of their line (especially considering all Obama had done).Not so. According to them, they had never supported Obama! They gave me some literature to explain their position on Obama (the literature actually called for support to Obama). Well, I ditched that too and I went my merry way.
Lest you think that this is some disillusionment, please let me be clear. I’m even more of a communist now than when I joined FRSO. My problem with the FRSO isn’t that they were communist, but that they were not. I keep active. I write (fiction and politics). I maintain this blog. I keep a youtube channel going where I keep the red flag flying (check it out and comment!). I try to stay active.
As bad as my experience in FRSO was, it wasn’t too entirely worthless. I got water thrown in my eye to be sure. But I learned. Sometimes failure is a better teacher than success. I saw that the ABCs of communism that I had learned were a little different on the ground. I was sharpened my own ideas of what a communist organization had to do. Instead of hiding our ideas, let’s place them forward boldly. Let’s not beg for reforms from the powerful, but raise the consciousness of the masses for revolution now.
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