***In The
Be-Bop 1960s Night- When "Stewball" Stu Stewart ’57 Chevy Ruled The
“Chicken” Roads
Scene: Brought to mind by the cover
artwork that graces the front of the booklet that accompanied a CD I had been
reviewing. The artwork contained, in full James Dean-imitation pout, one
good-looking, DA-quaffed, white muscle-shirted young man, an alienated young
man, no question, leaning, leaning gently, very gently, arms folded, on the
hood of his 1950’s classic automobile, clearly not his father’s car, but also
clearly for our purposes let us call it his “baby.”
And that
car, that extension of his young manhood, his young alienated manhood, is
Friday night, Saturday night, or maybe a weekday night if it is summer, parked,
priority parked, meaning nobody with some Nash Rambler, nobody with some
foreign Volkswagen, no biker even , in short, nobody except somebody who is
tougher, a lot tougher, than our alienated young man better breathe on the spot
while he is within fifty miles of the place, directly in front of the local
teenage (alienated or not) "hot spot." And in 1950s America, a
teenage America with some disposal income (allowance, okay), that hot spot was
likely to be, as here, the all-night Mel’s (or Joe’s, Adventure Car-Hop,
whatever) drive-in restaurant opened to cater to the hot dog, hamburger, French
fries, barbecued chicken cravings of exhausted youth. Youth exhausted after a
hard night, well, let’s just call it a hard night and leave the rest to your
knowing imagination, or their parents’ evil imaginations.
And in front
of the restaurant, in front of that leaned-on “boss” automobile stands one
teenage girl vision. One blondish, pony-tailed, midnight sun-glassed, must be a
California great American West night teeny-bopper girl holding an ice cream
soda after her night’s work. The work that we are leaving to fertile (or evil,
as the case may be) imaginations. Although from the pout on Johnny’s (of course
he has to be a Johnny, with that car) face maybe he “flunked out” but that is a
story for somebody else to tell. Here is mine.
********Not everybody, not everybody by a long-shot, who had a “boss” ’57 cherry red Chevy was some kind of god’s gift to the earth; good-looking, good clothes, dough in his pocket, money for gas and extras, money for the inevitable end of the night stop at Jimmy John’s Drive-In restaurant for burgers and fries (and Coke, with ice, of course) before taking the date home after a hard night of tumbling and stumbling (mainly stumbling). At least that is what one Joshua Breslin, Josh, me, freshly minted fifteen- year old roadside philosopher thought as for the umpteenth time “Stewball” Stu left me by Albemarle Road off Route One and rode off into the Olde Saco night with his latest “hot” honey, fifteen year old teen queen Sally Sullivan.
Yah,
Stewball Stu was nothing but an old rum-dum, a nineteen year old rum-dum,
except he had that “boss” girl-magnet ’57 cherry red and white two-toned Chevy
(painted those colors by Stu himself) and he had his pick of the litter in the
Olde Saco, maybe all of Maine, night. By the way Stu’s official name, was
Stuart Stewart, go figure, but don’t call him Stuart and definitely do not call
him “Stewball” not if you want to live long enough not to have the word teen as
part of your age. The Stewball thing was strictly for local boys, jealous local
boys like me, who when around Stu always could detect a whiff of liquor,
usually cheap jack Southern Comfort, on his breathe, day or night.
Figure this
too. How does a guy who lives out on Tobacco Road in an old run-down trailer,
half-trailer really, from about World War I that looked like something out of
some old-time Great Depression Hoover-ville scene, complete with scrawny dog,
and tires and cannibalized car leavings every which way have girls, and nothing
but good-looking girls from twelve to twenty (nothing older because as Stu
says, anything older was a woman and he wants nothing to do with women, and
their women’s needs, whatever they are). And the rest of us get his leavings,
or like tonight left on the side of the road on Route One. And get this, they,
the girls from twelve to twenty actually walk over to Tobacco Road from nice
across the other side of the tracks homes like on Atlantic Avenue and Fifth
Street, sometimes by themselves and sometime in packs just to smell the grease,
booze, burnt rubber, and assorted other odd-ball smells that come for free at
Stu’s so-called garage/trailer.
Let me tell
you about Stu, Sally, and me tonight and this will definitely clue you in to
the Stu-madness of the be-bop Olde Saco girl night. First of all, as usual, it
is strictly Stu and me starting out. Usually, like today, I hang around his
garage on Saturdays to get away from my own hell-house up the road on Ames Street,
meaning almost as poor as Stu except they are not trailers but, well, shacks, all
that the working poor like my people could afford in the golden age and I am
kind of Stu’s unofficial mascot. Now Stu had been working all day on his
dual-exhaust carburetor or something, so his denims are greasy, his white
tee-shirt (sic) is nothing but wet with perspiration and oil stains, he hasn’t
taken a bath since Tuesday (he told me that himself with some sense of pride)
and he was not planning to do so this night, and of course, drinking all day
from his silver Southern Comfort flask he reeked of alcohol (but don’t tell him
that if you read this and are from Olde Saco because, honestly, I want to live
to have twenty–something as my age). About 7:00 PM he bellows out to me,
cigarette hanging from his mouth, an unfiltered Lucky of course (filtered cigarettes
are for girls in Stu world), let’s go cruising.
Well,
cruising means nothing but taking that be-bop ’57 cherry red and white
two-toned Chevy out on East Grand and look. Look for girls, look for boys from
the hicks with bad-ass cars who want to take a chance on beating Stu at the
“chicken run” down at the flats on the far end of Sagamore Beach, look for
something to take the edge off the hunger to be somebody number one. At least
that last is what I figured after a few of these cruises with Stu. Tonight it
looks like girls from the way he put some of that grease (no not car grease,
hair-oil stuff) on his nappy hair. Yes, I am definitely looking forward to
cruising tonight once I have that sign because, usually whatever girl Stu might
not want, or maybe there are a couple of extras, or something I get first dibs.
Yah, Stu is righteous like that.
So off we
go, stopping at my house first so I can get a little cleaned up and put on a
new shirt and tell my brother to tell our mother that I will be back later,
maybe much later, if she ever gets home herself before I do. The cruising
routine in Olde Saco means up and down Route One (okay, okay Main Street),
checking out the lesser spots (Darby’s Pizza Palace, Hank’s Ice Cream joint,
the Colonial Donut Shoppe where I hang during the week after school and which
serves a lot more stuff than donuts and coffee, sandwiches and stuff, and so
on). Nothing much this Saturday. So we head right away for the mecca, Jimmy
John’s. As we hit Stu’s “saved” parking spot just in front I can see that
several stray girls are eyeing the old car, eyeing it like tonight is the
night, tonight is the night Stu, kind of, sort of, maybe notices them (and I,
my heart starting to race a little in anticipation and glad that I stopped off
at my house, got a clean shirt, and put some deodorant on and guzzled some
mouthwash, am feeling tonight is the night too).
But tonight
is not the night, no way. Not for me, not for those knees-trembling girls. Why?
No sooner did we park than Sally Sullivan came strolling out (okay I don’t know
if she was strolling or doo-wopping but she was swaying in such a sexy way that
I knew she meant business, that she was looking for something in the Olde Saco
night and that she had “found” it) to Stu’s Chevy and with no ifs, ands, or
buts asked, asked Stu straight if he was doing anything this night. Let me
explain before I tell you what Stu’s answer was that this Sally Sullivan is
nothing but a sex kitten, maybe innocent-looking, but definitely has half the
boys, hell maybe all the boys at Olde Saco High, including a lot of the guys on
the football team drooling over her. I know, because I have had more than one
sleepless night over her myself.
See, she is
in my English class and because Mr. Murphy lets us sit where we want I usually
sit with a good view of her. So Stu says, kind of off-handedly, like having the
town teen fox come hinter on him was a daily occurrence, kind of lewdly, “Well,
baby I am if you want to go down Sagamore Rocks right now and look for
dolphins?” See, Sagamore Rocks is nothing but the local lovers’ lane here and
“looking for dolphins” is the way everybody, every teenage everybody in town
says “going all the way,” having sex for the clueless. And Sally, as you can
guess if you have been following my story said, “Yes” just like that. At that
is why I was dumped, unceremoniously dumped, while they roared off into the
night. So like I said not every “boss” car owner is god’s gift to women, not by
a long shot. Or maybe they are.
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