From The Golf
Archives-When Lex Armour Learned To Be A Champion
By Seth Garth
Recently I did
an unusual for me “slice of life” profile about some scumbag golfer who though
by sandbagging, essentially cheating on his accumulated scores so he could win
five dollars from his weekend partners and eventually against champion Lex
Armour who took him down about twelve pegs, assuming that he could beat a very
good champion-level golfer by trickery. Naturally
the bum of the month, this slimy Sandbagger Johnson, got his comeuppance and
lost some serious money for his efforts.
As beautiful fate,
courtesy of the three sisters, would have it the champion, Lex Armour, who I
notice is now starting to make a name for himself from what avid golfer Sam Lowell
tells me in advanced circles was staying for an extra day where he had beaten this
holy goof named, rightly named, now that I know why, Sandbagger Johnson.
Sandbagger, still smarting from his previous day’s lost would not leave well
enough alone and challenged Lex to a match- stroke play match they call it for
the twelve hundred dollars he had lost the previous day. This stroke play
business is counting each person’s score, figuring in the handicap, Lex, zero, Sandbagger
twenty-two and whoever is lowest wins. Lex, as always, said “bet.”
Since only about
three or four people under forty or so know about golf I had taken the liberty
in that previous article to, via Sam’s direction, explain what is going on in
this mad monk game. And explain why in the end, now that Lex has won yet again against
the miserable cur Johnson why beating some backwoods farmer taught him more
about how to be a champion than say beating a real deal champion like Tiger
Woods or Jeff Logan. It is about grace under pressure and about not feeling
sorry for some stew-ball who thought he could cheat his way to the top without
anybody noticing. Jesus, what a way for some Farmer Brown to learn a lesson.
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