Out In The Be-Bop, Literally Be-Bop
1960s Night-A Walk Down "Dream Street"- For Jimmy J., Class Of 1966
Bart Webber, North Adamsville High
School (Ma) Class of 1964, comment:
In a lot of ways Sam Lowell was an odd
guy, an odd corner boy back in the day in front of Tonio’s Pizza Parlor during
high school day in the early 1960s. Maybe Sam was not as odd as fellow corner
boy Pete Markin who was always harassing the other dozen or so regular
attendees on the corner with his sacred two thousand odd-ball facts about the
world, about teen alienation, about how our neighborhood had not been given a
freaking break in the scheme of things and we should something about the
matter, and of course his ranting about the “new day coming” that we all could
have given a rat’s ass about but odd in his own less vocal way. Sam was always
kind of more dreaming about stuff, about what the “real” (as opposed to
Markin’s give a rat’s ass future) would look like, where we would stand in the
world when everything shook out.
Look the average conversation, the
average topic among those guys on the corner was about getting laid, about
girls and what to do about them and their bizarre sense of the world and what
you could do for them, about how to get money together to take them somewhere
preferably in a car and not on foot, about doing stuff like midnight creeps
around the town seeking openings to grab some dough, usually “easy” dough if
you know what I mean and planning for future hauls. Sure Sam, and even Markin
got into the scheme of things, wanted dough for girl stuff, but that was not
what drove him anymore than it drove Markin. See Sam’s family had a little more
dough that the rest of the families of the guys who hung on the corner and
while he was cool, was as involved straight up in any caper that our leader,
Frankie Riley, proposed (the schemes usually presented by Markin who however
could barely tie his shoes much less carry out one of plans), he always seemed
to be doing it in order to stay cool with the guys who really did have their
wanting habits on almost all the time.
Yeah, Sam was as likely to talk about
going to law school, or stuff like that, you know, getting himself way out of
the old working class neighborhood. I guess it was driving him a little since
poverty in the old neighborhood and although his family was only a little ahead
of the curve in that way such things were relative and his “wanting habits”
reflected that future planned out that we could also have given a rat’s ass
about since our own wanting habits were more immediate. So it was not
surprising when several years ago somebody from our Class of 1964 at old
hallowed North Adamsville High where all of the corner boys of our generation
went to high school (except bad boy Pretty James Preston who dropped out in
sophomore year in order to lead what would turn out to be a short but stuff of
legends career as a bank robber) put up a class Facebook page to gather in the
flock.
I had not seen or heard from most of
the guys who were still standing for many years what with one thing and
another, family, extended family, making dough and eventually having to take
care of parents. But one day Sam via that Facebook page contacted me (and other
old-time corner boys) as I had been doing as well once I got notification that
the site was up and running from Clare Kelly the gal from our class who did the
set up. Sam and I had been fairly close, especially during senior year when I
was dating his younger sister, and later when under the influence of Markin the
whole tribe took off at various times to check out what was happening on the
West Coast, that new day he had been predicting would come since early in high
school. But after a few years on the yellow brick road school bus (Markin’s
term for the way we travelled up and down the coast) Sam went on to his promise
land law school and stayed in town to practice his law in a small two person
operation while I headed to Ohio where my wife’s people were from and where she
wanted to live. Then, nearing retirement, I have persuaded my wife that fair
was fair and that we should move back to the ocean which I had missed like
crazy and so we had come back to Riverdale about thirty miles south of North
Adamsville and on the coast.
Once Sam and I reconnected it was not
long before we started to get together, usually at the Dublin Grille, in North
Adamsville and talk about the old days. Sometimes a couple of other guys still
around would join us although they were not corner boys. A lot of times though
showing what an odd-ball Sam still was he would keep asking probing questions
not about future dreams but about whether or not those youthful dreams had
turned out okay, or had turned to ashes in our mouths. That “ashes in our
mouths” business a veiled reference to the late Pete Markin who despite his
dreams, his two thousand sacred fact that we gave a rat’s ass about and maybe
still did, and his correct, or better partially correct call on the new day
coming wound had wound up with a bad ending at a young age down in Mexico in
the mid-1970s when he got caught in some gone wrong drug scheme that blew up on
him and was found face down in a back alley in Sonora.
Sam’s probing of the few of us he could
corral at our watering hole made him get dreamy once again, said that he wanted
to test the waters more widely, wanted to pose the question to whatever felt
like answering the question on the class Facebook page. Clare had previously
asked him to help her set up questions like that and so he was working out of
his wheelhouse on this one.
One day a few days after he explained
what he was going to do I noticed the question he posed on the page:
When you were in high school did you
ever sit on the main entrance steps of North Adamsville High dream of your
future?
See the odd-ball way he posed the
question. Pure Sam. Like I said Sam originally directed the question to fellow
members of the North Adamsville High Class of 1964 but anybody can play this game.
As a first run through I only wrote a couple of paragraphs, then I re-wrote the
damn thing when Sam said I could do better than that. So I wrote several
paragraphs. Still not good enough. So another damn damn re-write. Here is my
take, my final take, on the weighty question after he had badgered to write
something worthy to get the ball rolling, to get others who might be afraid to
be the first to respond to gather some strength to do so:
Ah, literary license. Where would we be
without it? At least those of us who, cursed, try to stand under its
umbrella and not abuse the language and the reader’s patience too much. This
particular license violation revolves around the rather seedy history of this
entry.
Dreams. But not just any dreams, and
not anytime dreams. Those, as I have found out, and you have too, are a dime a
dozen, maybe cheaper. No, I am talking about fresh dreams, fresh, creamy, minty
dreams from youth, from high school, especially from the 1960s high school
be-bop night of youth that Sam was pitching his question to, and future
prospects. And, more importantly, how they, the dreams that is, if not the
prospects, worked out.
In line with that question I also
needed to know, and maybe that is really what I was looking for, was how hard
anyone thought about the subject, and in what way and where. In short, was I
among a small or large number of people who were driven to distraction, no,
beyond distraction, no, had their sleep sweaty disturbed by the question. (And
by Sam’s prodding.) That simply put, was the little, very little, idea that got
the ball rolling. Now this wee idea started life in this space a while back as
a couple of paragraphs, a couple of stretched out paragraphs, ginned up, if you
really wanted to know. Over time it blossomed into several paragraphs without
really any effort, or any added insight into the question. And now it is going
to be expanded, don’t ask me how much longer, with that same core question at
the center. That tells me (and the reader) two things; someone has a little
time on their hands; and, the little ball be-bop high school night dream thing
was (is) of far greater import than my original cavalier notion of the theme
when I first presented it would have indicated. For those who are experiencing
this blockbuster entry for the first time I have left the previously outlined
parameters of the question just below so you will be able to follow along,
although I am not sure now if it is the original one or some later mongrel son
of the original.
*****
This now seemingly benighted entry,
originally simply titled , A Walk Down “Dream” Street, started life as an
equally simple question posed to fellow classmates in the North Adamsville High
School Class of 1964 (although the question is also suitable to be asked of
other classes, and other schools, as well) in the year 2014 on some cyberspace
class site, a site that finally reconnected me with my old high school friend, Sam
Lowell, Samuel Francis Lowell, one of the be-bop kings of the North Adamsville
schoolboy night in the early 1960s . I had “discovered” the site that year
after having gone through a series of events the details of which need not
detain us right now but that drove me back to memories, hard, hard-bitten,
hard-aching, hard-longing, mist of time, dream memories, of old North schoolboy
days and of the need to search for my old high school friend and running mate
(literally, in track and cross country, as well as “running” around town doing
boy high school things, doing the best we could, or trying to as well as senior
year running around with his sister, Bernice, who was “hot,” sorry Sam, no, not
sorry Sam.).
Naturally, the question was posed in
its particular form, or so it seemed natural at the time for Sam to pose it
that way, because those old, “real,” august, imposing, institutionally
imposing, grey granite-quarried (from the Granite City, the unofficial, or
maybe official for all I know, nickname of the town, reflecting the Italian
immigrant labor-sweated quarries that dotted the outer reaches of the town and
that was one of its earlier industries) main entrance steps (in those days
serious steps, two steps at a time steps, especially if you missed first bell,
flanked by globular orbs and, like some medieval church, gargoyle-like columns
up to the second floor, hence “real”) is a place where Sam and I spent a lot of
our time, time when he wasn’t out on a single date with his ever-loving honey,
Joanne, Joanne Marion Murphy, the “queen” of the be-bop night although she was
never called that, and would have heaped scorn, big scorn on that idea, that
was a Sam-Markin (his best friend and “flak”) secret shake thing, talking of
this and that.
Especially summer night time talk
(Joanne, lace curtain Irish, lace curtain working class Irish if you will,
Joanne went “summering” with her parents and siblings for several weeks of
those summers, the summers that mattered: hot, sultry, sweaty, steam-drained, mostly
no money in pockets, no car to explore the great American teenage night; the
be-bop, doo-wop, do doo do doo, ding dong daddy, real gone daddy, be my daddy,
let it be me, the night time is the right time, car window-fogged, honk if you
love jesus (or whatever activity produced those incessant honks in key
turned-off cars), love-tinged, or at least sex-tinged, endless sea, Adamsville
Beach night. Do I need to draw you a picture, I think not. But we are sitting, Sam
and me, sitting hard, granite steps bound, dream fluttering like mad men
because such talk would not float in front of the Tonio corner boy crowd we
hung around with on weekends even in summer, whoever was around.
And let me give some lesser details of
that summer breeze good night night missed for the less sex-crazed. Say, for
the faint-hearted, or good, denizens of that great American teenage night how
about a Howard Johnson’s ice cream (make mine cherry vanilla, double scoop, no
jimmies, please) or a trip to American Graffiti-like fast food drive-in,
hamburger, hold the onions (just in case today is the night that that certain
she (you now know that was Sam’s younger sister, okay) I had eyed, eyed to
perdition, eyed to eyes sore, in school all spring shows her
tight-bloused, Capri-panted form in the door), fries and a frappe, not wimpy
milk shake (I refuse to describe that frappe taste treat at this far remove,
look it up on Wikipedia, or one of those info-sites) Southern Artery night.
Lost, all irretrievably lost, and no thousand, thousand (thanks, Sam
Coleridge), no, million later, greater experiences can ever replace that. And, add
in, too many time non-dated-up, and no possibility of sweet-smelling, soft,
rounded, bare shoulder-showing summer sun-dressed (or wintry, bundled up,
soft-furred, cashmere-bloused, for that matter), big-haired (hey, do you expect
me to remember the name of the hair styles, too?), ruby red-lipped (see, I got
the color right), dated-up in sight. So you can see what that “running around
town, doing the best we could” mainly consisted in those sweat stairs nights.
Mostly, driven by Sam’s prodding which
as I have mentioned in front of Tonio’s one and all would have given rat’s ass
about, we spoke of dreams of the future: small, soft, fluttery, airless,
flightless, high school kid-sized, working class-sized, North Adamsville-sized,
non-world–beater-sized, no weight dreams really, no, that’s not right, they
were weighty enough but only until 18 years old , or maybe 21 year old,
weighty. Mine anyway. A future driven though, and driven hard, by the need to
get out from under, to get away from, to put many miles between us and it,
crazy family life (the details of which need not detain us here at all, as I
now know, and I have some stories to prove it, that condition was epidemic in
the old town then, and probably still is). And also of getting out of
one-horse, teen life-stealing, soul-cramping, dream-stealing, small or large
take your pick, even breathe-stealing, North Adamsville. Of getting out
into the far reaches, as far as desire and dough would carry, of the great wild,
wanderlust, cosmic, American day and night. Hitch-hike if you have too, shoe
leather-beating walking if you must, road (or European road, or wherever,
Christ, even Revere in a crunch, but mainly putting some miles between).
The question, that simple question that
I asked above, moreover, did not stand in isolation. As part of that search for
“run around” Sam, king of the sweaty night Sam, for figuring out tangled roots,
for hard looking at past, good or evil, for hard longing connectedness to
youth, for bleeding raider red days I took advantage of that non-descript North
Adamsville Class of 1964 message board to fire off, what now seems like an
small atomic bombardment of entries about this and that, some serious, most
whimsical. (They are, for the most part, still there if you are interested).
Obviously though not every question I intended to answer there, or here,
especially not this one, was meant to be as whimsical as the first one that I
did about the comparative merits of the Rolling Stones and Beatles. With this
long-stemmed introduction the rest of the 2014 original entry is (edited a bit)
“preserved” intact in the interest of keeping with its original purpose
of trying to give my answer the question posed, posted below:
“Today I am interested in the relationship
between our youthful dreams and what actually happened in our lives; our dreams
of glory out in the big old world that we did not make, and were not asked
about making; of success whether of the pot of gold or less tangible, but just
as valuable, goods, or better, ideas; of things or conditions, of himalayas,
conquered, physically or mentally; of discoveries made, of self or the whole
wide world, great or small. Or, perhaps, of just getting by, just putting one
foot in the front of the other two days in a row; of keeping one’s head above
water under the impact of young life’s woes; of not sinking down further into
the human sink; of smaller, pinched, very pinched, existential dreams but
dreams nevertheless.
I will confess here, as this seemingly
is a confessional age, or, maybe just as a vestige of that family
history-rooted, hard-crusted, incense-driven, fatalistic Catholic upbringing
long abandoned but etched in, no, embedded in, some far recesses of memory that
my returning to the North Adamsville High School Class of 1964 fold did not
just occur by happenstance. A couple of months ago (December 2013) my mother,
Arlene Margaret Webber (nee O’Brian), NAHS Class of 1943, passed away. For a
good part of her life she lived in locations a mere stone's throw from the
school. You could, for example, see the back of the school from my
grandparents' house on Young Street. As part of the grieving process, I
suppose, I felt a need to come back to North Adamsville. To my, and her, roots.
As part of that experience as I walked up John Hancock Street and down
Jefferson I passed by the old high school. That triggered some memories, some
dream street memories, which motivate today's question.
If my memory is correct, and I am not
just dream-addled, I had not been in North Adamsville for at least the pass 25
years and so I was a little surprised to see that the main entrance steps of
the high school, and central to the question posed here, were no longer there.
You remember the steps, right? They led to the then second floor and were
flanked by, I think, a couple of lions or some gargoyles. (I have since then,
after viewing a copy of the 1964 Magnet, found out that they were actually
flanked by a sphere and a column on each side. I was close though, right?) I
can remember spending many a summer night during high school, along with my old
pal from the class Sam Lowell, the legendary be-bop, “faux” beatnik king of the
night sitting on those steps talking about our futures. Now for this question I
am only using the steps as a metaphor, so to speak. You probably have your own
'steps' metaphor for where you thrashed out your dreams. How did they work out?
A lot of what Sam and I talked about at
the time was how we were going to do in the upcoming cross country and track
seasons, girls (although Sam, when the deal went down always had his
ever-loving Joanne to keep him warm against the hard edges of the teen night),
the desperate need to get away from the family trap, girls, no money in pockets
for girls, cars, no money for cars, girls. (Remember, please, those were the
days when future expectations, and anguishes, were expressed in days and
months, not years.) Of course we dreamed of being world-class runners, as every
runner does. Sam went on to have an outstanding high school career. I, on the
other hand, was, giving myself much the best of it, a below average runner. So
much for some dreams.
We spoke, as well, of other dreams
then. I do not remember the content of all of Sam’s but mine went something
like this. I had dreams for social justice. For working people to get a fair
shake in this sorry old world. That, my friends, has, sad to say, not turned
out as expected. But enough from me. I will finish this entry with a line from
a Bob Dylan lyric. "I'll let you be in my dream, if I can be in your
dream". Fair enough?”
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