By Seth Garth
Let me tell you
a story, a story of greed, lust, sullen romance and the pretense of sex, all the
usual things you expect the minute you start talking about the quest for
anything valuable, valuable as long as human life is deeply discounted. In the
end though this is a story about the heroic Captain Jacoby, the captain of the
S.S. China Queen. Heroic not in this torrid story but previously when he commanded
ships in World War I and later in the merchant fleet where he saved many a
seaman’s life by his skills and by sheer bravery on his part. That, of course,
before he got tangled up with a dame, with one crazy dame, Mary Astor, but don’t
take that name too seriously because she went under about seven different names
between the Orient, the China seas, and Frisco Bay. Yes, Mary and her quest for
the golden fleece which brought Jacoby low.
Nobody has the
whole story except maybe the Frisco cops, and a couple of reporters who dug a little
into the story after bodies started piling up. Nobody could have the whole story
especially Mary’s part since she took the big step-off a long time in one of California
hellish gas chambers. Certainly Captain Jacoby couldn’t help us, at least according
to one of the reporters since before he passed on, no, passed on is too simple
a way to say it, died from his gunshot wounds administered by one Mary Astor, he spilled what he knew, mainly that he had
been taken in by a fragrance, by some gardenia fragrance. Well, it would it would
not be the first time that some sober-minded guy laid down his head for a fragrance
that left him smiling even as the life was pouring out of him.
The object of
desire, Mary desire, a Ming vase, an error and thus almost priceless that had
been stolen from the rich British owner in Shanghai. The error as in all such
things like stamps and coins made the vase all the more valuable and desirable.
Moreover it was encrusted with gems and gold. No one can fault Mary or the others
who tried to grab the brass ring on the long trail for wanting to own the thing
and live on easy street but a hell of a price was paid in the end. Here is where
the bodies start piling up. Mary, working in a high-end whorehouse in Shanghai
had the rich British owner, steel magnate Brian Ahern if you need a name as a
client, a steady client, maybe his mistress such things being in a fog in high colonial
British society, maybe now too. Ahern made the mistake, fatal mistake, of
showing the piece to “from hunger” Mary. One night he paid for his mistake with
a couple of heartless well-placed slugs in his head. Mary grabbed what did
somebody in the cops call it-oh yeah, the stuff of dreams.
That part is pretty
straight forward. This next part is not, by no means. Mary was either working
with some others who were financing the operation or some other thieves were
after the vase at the same time. Could have been both or either from what I
could tell. Mary, winsome, beautiful treacherous Mary played one faction against
the other. One that Captain Jacoby was marginally involved with, taking certain
materials out of China on the QT, was led by up and coming gangster Miles Archer.
The other led by the well-known notorious international thief Sid Greenstreet.
Having trouble keeping thing straight Mary had to waste a guy working for Sid,
a guy named Floyd, no last name. Floyd it seems liking hard cash rather than
cold hearts once in Mary’s confidence wanted the damn thing for himself. Then
another guy, only known by the name The Kid acting on orders from Sid made the
mistake of thinking that a dame could not be a crack shot. Fatal, very fatal.
There may have been a few others wasted either by Mary or one of the factions
but that is all secondary.
What come
first is that Mary through Miles Archer who at the time did not know Mary had
the damn thing had made arrangements to get herself and the vase passage on the
S.S. China Queen heading back to America, heading into Frisco town. That
is where Captain and Mary mesh, where Jacoby made his fatal plunge over some
silly fragrance. Here is how devilish this Mary was. She, as was her wont, gave
the Captain her best “come hither” looks and actions eventually getting him in
bed to seal the deal. Once hooked Mary told the Captain she had some family heirloom
and could he keep it safe, and a secret. Gardenia-crazed he said sure. That would be his downfall.
After landing
in Frisco Mary went to see some people about selling the vase, getting onto
that easy street she always dreamed of hitting all her fucking life. Meanwhile
agents for both Archer and Greenstreet after they figured out where Mary had gone
confronted the Captain. Confronted each other too with gunfire and real fire.
The Captain was able to get the vase off the ship before it went totally to
flames and brought it to Mary in her Post Street digs. Now knowing what the
object was, and whose it was, he figured they would share in the profits. Wrong.
The minute he even suggested that proposition Mary put a couple of slugs in him
for good measure and fled. Somebody had heard the shots and that is how we know
about the half-wise smile he had on his face as he passed on.
We know Mary shortly after
her flight was captured and eventually had her big step-off. The vase, well,
that through the good offices of Sid Greenstreet was ransomed back to Brian
Ahern. End of story. No. Somebody rightly thought Captain Jacoby should have
some kind of memorial for his earlier brave actions and so funds were raised and
there you have it. Don’t forget the fragrance part though.
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