***When Gary Ladd Danced The North Adamsville High School Be-Bop
Hop Dance Night Away
From The Pen Of Frank Jackman
A YouTube film
clip of The Shirelles performing their 1960s teen angst classic Mama Said
Saturday night from seven to eleven,
any third Saturday of the month from September to May, every red-blooded teen
boy and girl in the 1961 North Adamsville High School be-bop, be-bop night
could only be in one locale, or want to be. That was the night of the monthly
seasonally-themed high school hop. The Fall Frolic, Pumpkin Ball, Mistletoe
Magic, Frozen Frolic, and so on themes with hop at the end to give the
old-timey innocent high school feel to the night in a town which had had such
dances since the school’s founding in the 1920s, although the term “hop” had
been of more recent vintage reflecting the effect that such cultural phenomena
as the afternoon television program American
Bandstand and Danny and the Juniors classic song At The Hop had invested the word with significant teen meaning.
More importantly this monthly hop, unlike the more exclusive Autumn Leaves,
Holly Hock and Spring Fling dances which were meant solely for juniors and
seniors and their guests and which were not designated hops or any other such
shorthand reflecting the new rock and roll breeze that had been stirring
through the nation for some time by then, anyone, even freshmen and sophomores,
could ante up the dollar admission and dance the night away.
The large attendance of wallflower-like
freshman, girls and boys alike, all red-faced, all sweaty palms, all trying to
look nonchalantly like they had been going to these things for ages to hide
their wallflower fears who were hanging off the walls in the transformed
festooned gym and of sophomores, a little more self-assured and hovering around
the bleachers which had been extended to provide some seating, but still
worried about whether they, the boys, had put on enough underarm deodorant, had
swigged enough mouthwash, had combed enough parted Wild Root-infested hair, and the girls, whether that stolen
mother’s perfume would seem too strong, their permed hair was still in array
and that that padded dress showed their figures to good effect were witness to
the fact that anyone, sweaty palms or not if they had enough moxie could dance
the night away.
Well almost everybody in attendance had
the chance to dance the night away. And that had been the dilemma confronting
one freshman, Gary Ladd, he the “wallflower” way off to the side of the gym
almost into the wall if you didn’t think you had seen him on one of the third
Saturday nights in question. And right next to him is another guy, me,
hair-slicked, underarm-protected, Listerine-inhaled, his best friend since
junior high days when I moved to town from Clintondale and we have since tried
to defend each other against the hardships of American wayward youth times,
times when we both would have rather just that moment had cool sunglasses on to
stifle our fears. But let’s get back to Gary because the night I am referring
to was his night after some many failed efforts and my story can be simply
stated. I will wind up going home at intermission kind of defeated since
nobody, nobody at all had asked me to dance, believing that I had not put enough
deodorant on, enough Wild Root or swilled enough mouthwash and had been defeated
by the ever-present bane of the wallflowers-personal hygiene.
[I would find out a couple of days later
when I mentioned my defeat to Emma Wilson in History Class that most of the
freshman girls that she knew kept an arm’s distance from me not for personal hygiene,
some girls thought that I was “cute,” but no girl, no self-respecting girl
could permit herself to be barraged by the two thousand odd-ball facts that I
would spew out in order to impress them during the dance. I have seen decided
to take her comment under advisement. But back to Gary.]
What had been bothering Gary, though,
we might as well have our moment of truth right up front since this is a
confessional age and the truth would have come out anyway, is that he can’t
dance. Can’t dance a damn, to hell, heaven or any place in between. Couldn’t
dance in junior high when I tried to shadow-box teach him a few steps and when
the moment of truth came he almost broke poor, beautiful Melinda Loring’s big
toe. Such a reputation in a small town is hard to break. My corner boy’s problem:
two- left feet. Two left-feet despite the more recent best efforts of one Agnes
Ladd, North Adamsville Class of 1961 Vice President, whose own feet have taken
a terrible beating, and has earned some kind of medal for service above and
beyond the call of duty, trying to teach little brother Gary the elements of
the waltz, the fox trot, and hell, even two feet away from your partner rock
and roll moves and the twist to no avail.
All of this teaching done under the
cover of tight security since Gary had sworn Agnes to secrecy about their
doings. Agnes, for her part, one of the smartest and most popular girls in the
senior class, had no intention of telling anybody that she was talking to, much
less teaching dance to a freshman even if it was her own brother. Those are the
school conventions, and nobody, nobody who is smart and popular is going to
defy conventions like that. The freshman, as Agnes told Gary, would have their
day in a few years and would in turn snub their subordinate freshman. That is
the way it is. But Gary, no twerp under his two left-footed exterior, has
always, as he put it, exercised his democratic right as a freshman in good
standing to be at these universal dances, come hell or high water.
But that night, that warm April Bring Spring
Hop night I am talking about, things were destined to be a little different as
Gary has already staked his place against the far wall (the wall farthest away
from the girl “wallflowers” just in case you wanted an exact location. Mostly
wallflowers, boy or girl, although not me, were keeping their respective
distances on the odd chance that someone may actually come up and ask them to
dance. First off this month, unlike most months when some lame student DJ from Communications
class spins platters on a feisty school record player, the local craze rock
band sensations, The Rockin’ Ramrods, were performing live on the makeshift
bandstand and were guaranteed to have everybody who gets to dance rocking
before they are done, including Gary and me who are scared but still hopeful. Just
that minute as Gary shifted his weight and places his back to the wall they were
tuning up before their first set of three with the appropriately named Please
Stay by the Drifters. Secondly but in line with that Gary hopeful, a new
girl in town, Elsie Mae Horton, had told Gary that she would be coming to the hop,
her first since moving to town a couple of months before. Naturally the mere
fact that she said she would come was an added reason why Gary was there all that exercising democratic rights stuff be
damned (and also why he had tortured his sister Agnes to try, try in vain, to
teach him some dance steps). See Gary has the “bug” for Elsie Mae, Yeah, as I
well know since I had taken a failed and fruitless run at her with my two
thousand facts in Civics class and had gotten the deep freeze, he is smitten.
Now this Elsie Mae is maybe, on a scale
of one to ten, about a six so it is not looks that had Gary (and about six
other guys, five and me), well, smitten. An okay body, fair legs, nice brown
hair and eyes, a so-so dresser like I say a “six” (and Gary agreed with me
although in that department although if you see Elsie Mae I never said that,
nor did he). See what Elsie Mae has is nothing but smarts, book smarts which is
how I made my approach to her in Civics class talking about this book we were
reading about President Andrew Jackson and how he broke the back of the
aristocrats like the Adams family who wanted to keep political power in the
hands of some self-selected elite, themselves and forget the guys going west,
yeah I know not exactly the smoothest move. Idea smart too which enthralled
Gary since he likes to talk about novels and such which is what Elsie Mae was
into, talk smarts you name it smarts and one of the sweetest smiles this side
of heaven. And, as Gary found out early on in one of their shared classes, very
easy to talk to about anything, if she wanted to talk to you. Yes, he is
smitten; the only unknown in his mind is whether she can dance good enough to
stay out of his way if it comes to that. That is if he gets up the nerve to ask
her. And as the Ramrods started their first set with Gary Bonds’ School Is
Out (praise be) he noticed her coming in the door. Heart pounding he started
sinking into the wall again. As they finished with Brother Bonds the Ramrods
start in on The Impressions’ Gypsy Woman before Gary realized that Elsie
Mae has drawn a bee-line straight for him and was standing right in front of
him, turning a little red after he did not greet her. “Oh, my god,” Gary
whispers under his breathe, “she is going to ask me to dance. No way.” The
usually easy to talk to Elsie Mae though said nothing, nothing but turned a
little redder as the Ramrods covered the Pips Every Beat Of My Heart
(nicely done too). She stood there waiting for Gary to ask her, if you can
believe that. Well, two-left feet or not, he did ask her. And she smiled a
little smile as she “accepts.” Relief.
Needless to say when they did their
dance, The Edsels’ Rama Lama Ding Dong, it was nothing but a disaster. A
Gary disaster? Yes. Although you can use fake moves galore on such a tune Gary,
maybe nervous, maybe just trying to show off started moving all his arms all
over the place so he looked from my wall position like one of those devilish
Hindu gods with a ton of arms. And while in motion he hit Ella Mae a couple of
times, not hard but not cool either. Once she came close to him and he moved
back into another couple, a senior couple and I thought the senior, Bill Daley
from the football team, was going to level poor Gary but he just moved away
with his date with the meanest look of scorn I had seen in a while. So disaster
was the right word. But here is the funny part. Elsie Mae Horton, formerly of
Gloversville, a town in farm country a few miles away and known for the
Gloversville Amusement Park on Route 9 and nothing else really, and new to
North Adamsville so of unknown dance quality, had two-left feet too. When she
had been closing in on Gary it was because she had lost her balance and was
ready to careen into him. Get this though. When the dance was mercifully
finished, and the two had actually survived, Elsie Mae thanked Gary and told
him that he was a wonderful dancer and said she wished that she could dance
like him. Whee! Here is the real kicker though. Elsie Mae had also been taking
dancing lessons on Saturday mornings at the YWCA, unsuccessfully. Dancing
lessons solely so that two-left feet Elsie Mae Horton could dance with Gary
Ladd. See, she was “smitten” too. And so if you did not see Gary or Elsie Mae
at the Mayfair Dance last month you have now solved that mystery. That night they
were sitting, sitting very close to each other, on the seawall down at
Adamsville Beach laughing about starting a “Two-Left Feet” Club. With just two
members.
[As for my fate that night I went to
the hop with Emma Wilson. See after she clued me in to what was what I ran into
her at the library and we talked, or rather she talked, not two thousand facts
talked, but talked. And I let her. And as part of that talk she asked me to escort her, her word, to
the hop.]
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